Condom Races

“Anything interesting happen in school today?”

“My Mom lost to Your Mom.”

I gave her a look.

She sighed, despairing for my ignorance.  “In dodgeball today.  We lost.”

Ah
yes.  Rissa was in a Dodgeball tournament.  She and her friends were
split between two teams.  Rissa’s team was “My Mom”  and the other team
was “Your Mom.”  These names were chosen for the sole purpose of how they would sound when announced by the principal over the PA system.

“Right.  I’m with you now.  So you were on which team?”

“I was on My Mom.”

“And who was on Your Mom?”

“Jacob and Liam”

Mental head shake.  “And My Mom lost?” This was turning into a variation of Who’s on First.

“Sadly
yes.  We were hoping that we would make it to the finals and that way
the principal would have had to announce it all again.”

David chimed in.  “Maybe next year you could have new teams.  My Mom’s Meatloaf vs Your Mom’s Mac & Cheese.”

I roll my eyes at him.  “Anything else interesting?”

“In health we had condom races.”

I do my
best to imagine what that could entail.  “Were you blowing them up and
then letting them loose in the classroom?  Passing them like a HOT
POTATO game?”

“Let her finish…” David says.  In my mind I’m thinking BANANAS!!!!!

“We had bananas.”

“HAH!”

David shoots me a disparaging look.

“There were four to a team.” 

Now I was confused.  “Four to a team?”

“Whichever team of four who put all their condoms on the banana first won.”

“You were putting four condoms on a banana?”

“Yes.”

“One on top of the other?”

“Yes.”

David shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”