What do you call it?
We’re sitting at the kitchen table. Rissa is watching Sex and the City on her phone while she enjoys her cinnamon raisin toast
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My New Superpower
In spite of our best efforts, this week’s pancakes are mostly crap…
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DON’T STEP ON THE TEETH!!
“Uh-oh,” I say as I’m about to step into my bedroom…
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And that is why you put your toys away…
It felt as though we were missing a limb for about eight months, but we managed to survive Rissa’s first year at university. However, with no one to “adult” for, we devolved into teenagers ourselves. We forgot to do laundry, haphazardly cleaned the house and rarely grocery shopped. Rissa would come home for a weekend…
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Anorexic Caterpillars
Rissa is taking up all the space in front of the bathroom sink – arranging her eyebrows. “Excuse me hon,” I politely request – reaching for the taps so that I can wash my hands. “Sorry…” She scoots out of the way, allowing me full tap access, before returning to the mirror with tweezers in…
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Snakes don’t have legs
“So if they’re asking do I have experience working with animals, does that mean REAL experience? I mean, I have three cats,” says Rissa. “Yes, you do have three cats,” I reply. “And don’t discount the dogs that we’ve had.” “But do they mean experience like squeezing a gopher’s anal glands?” “What!?!” “Or like, I’ve…
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Heart of Darkness Dance Party
“OH MY GOD!” Rissa exclaims. “What?” I ask, glancing up from my e-reader. “This,” she says, indicating her book. “THIS. STUPID. BOOK.” “What are you reading?” “Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. ARGH!” The book has fallen from her hands and banged her on the head. “Dude. Careful.” “It’s not me! IT’S. THIS. STINKING. BOOK.” She…
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Gilmore Girls Meltdown
“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!” wails Rissa. “WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!!!” She is flailing, face-down, on the couch. “Yes we will honey.” I smooth her back. “We’ve got 77 days.” “And 95 episodes!!” How are we going to watch 95 episodes in 77 days?!?” “Easy. One episode a day, with 18 days where we watch two.”…
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Husky, deep… Barbara Stanwyck
Rissa and I are watching bingeing Gilmore Girls. Cats blanket our already afghaned laps. EMILY: Oh look — Barbara Stanwyck. I just love Barbara Stanwyck. LORELAI: Oh yeah, she’s good. EMILY: She had that wonderful voice — that husky, deep voice. I just love that voice. LORELAI: You know Mom, you have kind of a…
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Is that a dirty book?
… asks Rissa as I pop open my e-reader. “I’m asking, ’cause you mostly have dirty books on there, right?” “Yes, there are mostly dirty books on this e-reader. But this one hasn’t gotten dirty yet.” I’m not a fan of Dickens when I’m winding down with a book. Some good character development, some sex,…
