How Rissa almost expired from playing soccer…

From a distance, she looked like a cartoon character – those big white paws grabbing for the soccer ball in that massive net.  It was kind of like watching Mickey Mouse as goalkeeper.  She made some incredible saves and had some kick-ass kicks.  When she was in net, my heart was in my throat.  Under my breath, I may have threatened the safety of several  ‘Under 15’ girls who seemed a little too ‘gung ho’ with their cleats around my little girl when she was reaching for the ball.  Rissa ain’t so little, but once a Mama Bear, always a Mama Bear.

After the post-game shaking of hands, she came off the field  – looking a little ill.  In fact, pretty much all the girls on the team looked like they were going to drop dead.  It was 39 degrees with the humidex – I was worried that maybe she was suffering from heat exhaustion.  I knew she shouldn’t have played!  It was too hot!  She looked like she might puke.  She staggered towards me.  I reached out for her, ready to catch her if she stumbled.

“Mummy… Mummmy…”

“What is it sweetie?”

“My hands…  My hands…”

“Yes, sweetie?”  Oh God, I was going to have to take her the ER!  She couldn’t even speak properly!  That’s one of the signs of heat sickness!

 “They… They…”  She tottered a bit more. I grabbed her shoulders, steadying her.   “MY HANDS SMELL LIKE FEET!  They smell like (gag)… FEET!“  She thrust the offending appendages near my nose and I too, almost woofed my cookies.

In the
2nd Half of the game, as goalkeeper, Rissa had worn the ‘team’ gloves…  After another girl had sweat in them for the 1st half and
every other goalie on the team had sweat in them for the previous 6
games. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t think these gloves get washed.  EVER.  These were Satan’s Gloves.

So yes, her hands did smell like feet.  I smelled twice, because I couldn’t believe how bad they were.  Rissa, on the drive home, kept smelling them and fake gagging because she thought it was so frickin’ hilarious.