Sprung from my loins…
Have been experiencing technical difficulties… (will explain later) posting on the fly…
Rissa gave me this card for Mother’s Day…
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She’s not 3 any more…
When I look at Rissa now, I can’t remember her as a toddler. Even when I see photos of her from that time, it’s like I’m looking at somebody else’s kid. I know that she was this small elfin child, but that child bears next to no resemblance to the tall, poised 14 year…
Condom Races
“Anything interesting happen in school today?” “My Mom lost to Your Mom.” I gave her a look. She sighed, despairing for my ignorance. “In dodgeball today. We lost.” Ah yes. Rissa was in a Dodgeball tournament. She and her friends were split between two teams. Rissa’s team was “My Mom” and the other team was…
Rissa’s new career path
Last night at bedtime. “New career path Mummy! No longer will I be a chiropractor or massage therapist. I will now be… a NINJA. My catch phrase shall be “You will never see me coming!” From her position lying in the bed, Rissa launches herself up at me, pulling me flat against her chest, her…
I don’t think I’ve really lived until now.
Says Rissa. This morning, Rissa experiences our friend Leslie’s homemade jam for the first time. She has two pieces of toast – each sporting Leslie’s gourmet jam. Strawberry balsamic on one, peach bourbon vanilla bean on the other. She sits for a moment in front of her plate of toast. “I am about to have…
Mother’s Day without the crap
In my search for the perfect Mother’s Day cards for my mothers-in-law this week – (and that isn’t a typo – I have THREE mothers-in-law. Do the math on that one!) – I came upon the worst of the worst of cards. Treacly, forced rhyme crap cards that had me near to vomiting in the…
Snakes don’t have legs
“So if they’re asking do I have experience working with animals, does that mean REAL experience? I mean, I have three cats,” says Rissa. “Yes, you do have three cats,” I reply. “And don’t discount the dogs that we’ve had.” “But do they mean experience like squeezing a gopher’s anal glands?” “What!?!” “Or like, I’ve…
ROTFLMAO!!