I ain’t 20 any more…

So yesterday I spent a lot of time on my feet.  A LOT.  And those feet were in boots with heels.  Not crazy-high heels, but high enough that when I stopped moving at the end of the day?  I thought I might die.  I’m pretty sure that the balls of my feet exploded.  I might just be walking on stumps now.

How is it that it’s only when you STOP that you realize how much your body has betrayed you? Not just the feet – which to be fair had been wearing said boots for about 6 hours and had every right to explode (memorial service later today), but my hips… GOOD GOD my hips!  And my back, and Achilles tendons – which totally relates to wearing the heels as well…  Done… Gone… Kaput.

See, we were dancing.  The regular dancing was fine.  David and I then decided to a little bit of swing dancing.  That’s when my hips went. 

Sexy, non?

“Well Mary, I’ll tell you…  My hips are giving me such grief.  I can barely get through Flip, Flop & Fly without having a rest break for these old girls.”

There’s something about the doing the triple step, triple step, rock
step … that bounce on my joints? In heels?  After one song the pain started.  A
smart girl would have stopped.  A smart girl would have said, “Thank you
darling, but no.  I need to rest now and take some Advil for my
inflamed hips.”  But swing dancing is so much FUN!  It’s about the most
fun you can have without it turning into an orgasm. (Although maybe if you kept dancing…)  Some might say that roller
coasters would offer more bang (HAH!), but swing dancing has much less screaming,
more laughter and lasts longer than a typical roller coaster.   

It goes back to my youth.  I was a gymnast.  Between the ages of 8-16, I was very bendy.  (Steady there boys.)   That’s what’s done me in.  I have these hyper-flexible joints in my hips and back.  I was TOO flexible, or so the physiotherapists have since told me.   “Oh here’s your problem… your tendons don’t support any of your joints any more.  Nope, we can’t help you with that. By the time you’re 60, you’re pretty much fucked.”  Which is why my back, hips and even Achilles tendons began to betray me as early as my 20s.

But I’ve figured it all out!  The NEXT time I swing dance?  No heels for me!  I’m going to wear saddle shoes! Or Keds with the rubberized soles all slidey and worn out.  I’ll take the Advil first, ice between songs and get David to rub me all over with Traumeel afterward.  ‘Cause I ain’t NOT going to dance.

A little rub’ll do ya!