The Dreaded Spread
I always thought that middle-aged meant 45. Top-end could reach 50 or 51.5, given that my Granny lived to be 103…
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This is your brain on MENOPAUSE
I apologetically shrug as I point to my head. “Sorry, menopause brain.”
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How? HOW is this 86% Fresh?!?
Did I watch the same version of The Fantastic Four – First Steps as the 379 reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes?
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Today’s episode brought to you by the friendly letters A, A, A, A, R, G and H
Going to put my weekly pills into my pill cubbies, I realize that I don’t have enough of my anti-falling-down meds on hand to fill the entire week.
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The Great Martini Debacle of 2024
…a dirty-martini-scented oil slick.
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Could be worse, could be mosquitoes
“Can I crawl home from here?”
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From 0 to RAGE in .5 seconds
It’s not just road rage. Although following a driver who doesn’t know how to merge, signal or meet the speed limit will most definitely set me off. “What the FUCK are you DOING?!? There is a whole lane for you to MERGE INTO!!! You don’t have to SLOW down to 10 kph you brainless WASTE…
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French Toast Insanity
Labour Day morning. Contentedly lying in bed. I look over and see David reading. He smiles. I yawn, asking him what time it is. He glances over at the clock. “It’s… seven… fifty…. nope. It’s Eight o’clock.” “Boo Yeah!” I’ve managed to sleep in. We just got back from a trip overseas and have been…
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The Cursed Roof
Driiiiiiiiip. Driiiiiiiiip. Driiiiiiiiip. Fuck. Nope. No, I am not going to look. I don’t need to look, because that problem has been solved. The leaky roof above of our kitchen ceiling has been fixed. IT. HAS. BEEN. FIXED. Driiiiiiiiip. Driiiiiiiiip. Driiiiiiiiip. For the love of… I square my shoulders and stand up. I walk over…
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Irregular Heather
WARNING: Colourful language in this post. Fact: My internal thermostat is fucked. I’ve dealt with hot flashes since the age of 36. But the night sweats? The truly disgusting, sleep-annihilating, life-altering, make-you-feel-like-you-have-malaria… Wait. Maybe it’s not night sweats. Maybe it’s malaria. It’s January. In Canada. There are no mosquitos. Maybe it’s COVID… again. Cue rapid…
