Sex Show vs Home Show

David recently treated me to a romantic weekend away in the big city.  He planned it all. We stayed in a hotel.  We had fancy dinners.  He even packed for me.  He organized (ahem) activities.  And by activities I mean… SEX… and lots of it, without your child’s ears in close proximity.  In fact, having sex in a hotel, basically encourages you to be as loud as possible while in the throes of passion.  If you don’t have the management knocking at your door at 3:00 a.m. after noise complaints, you’re not taking full advantage of your ‘activity’ time.

The next morning we went to a diner and enjoyed the best of greasy breakfasts.  David gave me a choice of afternoon non-sexual activities before our  fancy schmancy dinner out.  The Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex Show OR The Home Show.  Tough choice, right?  I had never been to either which is bizarre given that SEX and HOUSES are two of my most favourite things.  What to do, what to do? 

Sex Show – lots of interesting toys and seminars vs  Home Show – lots of interesting tools and seminars…  So… pretty much even.

Sex Show – interesting people, possibly in leather, maybe carrying whips vs  Home Show – interesting people, possibly in overalls, maybe carrying leather tool belts…  Sex Show pulled out in the lead there.

Thing was?  We’d recently been to a well-stocked  sex shop where the sales people were incredibly helpful – we’d actually just ‘stocked up’ as it were.  And frankly?  There’s only so much room in my bedside table for further activity accoutrements.  And the Home Show?  Price tags on items available there can launch you into the thousands of dollars realm without breaking a sweat.  It was a conundrum.  I was vacillating.

“Sex Show… Home Show….  Home Show… Sex Show.”

David was scanning the list of weekend TO-DOs in the city.  “Hmmmm…. the Royal Winter Fair is on too…”

“It is?!?  Really?!?  With live animals?  And butter sculptures!?!“

“…Yes….”  His glance in my direction – laden with disbelief.

“There!  I want to go there!”

Yep.  That’s what we did.  I saw the butter sculptures and I got to feed the llamas…

I was a little disappointed that this sculpture was not the size of a house

Llamas are ALWAYS worth seeing.  ALWAYS.

I pet sheep and felt alpaca wool…  I watched rabbit jumping and calf showings…  I also saw lots of leather and riding crops for the horsey set – making me think that perhaps the Sex Show and the Royal Winter Fair have way more in common than one might think and if they combined those shows, you could really do the two birds one stone thing.

p.s.
On my way to the Royal Winter Fair I got to feed squirrels in the park!!  One of the best activities EVER. 

After I gave the squirrel a nut he took it up to the tree and ate it upside down like this

“I’m BATSQUIRREL!”

Honestly, the $3.95 worth of nuts that I fed to the squirrels could have probably kept me happy all day.  David had to drag me away to get me to the Royal Winter Fair.  We totally could have saved all that admission money on the Royal Winter Fair and spent the day outside in the fresh air…  Watching the coolest squirrel ever.