Unswallowable… (and NO, I don’t mean THAT)

There was a discussion around the dinner table about how many teenagers in the Family Studies class at David’s school have ended up pregnant since the course began.  A lot.  Like more than a handful.  These girls are in a class that GIVES them condoms and information on how NOT to get pregnant!  I might have ranted.

“Are they stupid?  Is this a Family Studies Class for stupid people?  If they are sexually active, why are they not on the pill and using condoms!?!”

“Maybe they can’t swallow the pill,” says Rissa.

“Everyone can swallow the pill,” says I.  “It’s THIS big!” (indicating tiny pill size with my outstretched fingers)

“I can’t swallow pills,” says Rissa.

“Yet.  You can’t swallow pills YET.  Hand me that jar of gummy vitamins and a knife – we’re starting now.  By bedtime you’ll be swallowing pills.”

“Mummy…”  (with accompanying eye roll)

“Seriously.  We need to get on this.  Do you KNOW how much more expensive Children’s Tylenol is?  If I put all the extra dollars we’ll save by switching to actual pills into your RESP, you’ll be able to attend Harvard.”

“Mummy we were talking about sex.”

“No we were talking about dumb girls who get pregnant.”

“No, I was just saying that maybe they can’t be on the pill because they can’t swallow pills.”

“So these girls aren’t dumb – they just can’t swallow pills yet?”

“Yes.”

“If they are too young to be swallowing pills, then they are obviously too young to be having sex.”

“But when you CAN swallow pills, you’re old enough to have sex?”

“NO!!!  OH MY GOD, NO!!!“

“You just said…”

“Forget what I just said.  Say this with me now: ‘Teenaged girls who get pregnant are dumb… teenaged girls who get pregnant are dumb..’   I’m serious.  It should be your mantra.”

“Mummy.”  (eye roll)  “Even if I could swallow pills, I’d probably forget to take them anyway.”

“David we need to research the shot.”