I am now THAT old.
This is the week. It’s the week that I bought a high-end bird feeder so that I can watch the birds from my kitchen window and I discovered that, from the side, I have jowls…
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#Taxespayforthisshit
It may be my inner Scandinavian talking, but if the government of Ontario needs more money for Education and Healthcare? I’m prepared to pay a little bit more in taxes to help. Because I’m pretty sure that’s what taxes are actually supposed to do. Pay for MRIs and ensure lower class sizes and shorter wait…
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how to raise a diva
A beautiful child is ahead of me in line at the Big Box store. She is approximately 7 years of age, dark hair, striking blue eyes. Freaking adorable. I find myself inclined to smile simply because of her incandescent beauty. And then I hear her scream/whine this: “I want TWO Kinder eggs!!!” The tone…
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Things you should NEVER say to new mothers…
People say the stupidest crap to new moms. One of my close friends just welcomed her first baby to the world and people have been saying truly moronic, unfeeling, make-a-new-mother-doubt-herself, crap to her. To these morons I say: Yes, you have had a baby yourself. THIS baby, however, is not YOUR baby. THIS baby is…
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Would the real Dance Moms please stand up?
I know… I know… I just ranted about this. However…. What I saw over the past weekend warranted an update. So… picture something similar to this, but with 6-10 year old girls wearing special-ordered versions of this inflatable costume and dancing to…. BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY I’ll give you a moment and let that sink…
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Dance of the Sugar Plum Sluts…
These girls are 9 So there I was… watching the baby sluts dance… It was not, as might be inferred, the END OF DAYS – nope, that wasn’t it. Dance competition season had begun. The last time I endured this was 5 years ago, when Rissa did a couple of group numbers at the age…
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My ass is not happy.
We are on the hunt for a sofa bed. On account of the fact that our new house does not have a guest room. As Canadians, we need to be able to offer extreme-weather lodgings. It’s in the Canadian Manifesto. Or it would be if Canada had a Manifesto. My Mom took great pride in…
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And that’s why I need a Tardis.
Because 3000 sq feet of furniture from a 2.5 story century home will not fit into a 1500 sq foot 1.5 story… even older century home. No matter how much we might want it to. David’s a list maker. It calms him – it gives him purpose. So we took his laptop and went from…
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I’m dreaming of an anorexic Christmas…
How did she do it? Vera Ellen, I mean. How could she even stand, let alone DANCE, in White Christmas? We watched it the other night, the girls and I. Yeah, we sang along. Yeah, we rolled our eyes at some of the nostalgic schtick. Yeah, we got teary-eyed when General Waverly came into the…
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I am THIS kind of geek…
The smallest of things can make me happy. Watching a dog cavort in the snow, smelling gingersnap body lotion, hearing Grantaire sing those four notes in his part from Red and Black, “I have never heard him ‘ooh’ and ‘aah.’ If you were to have those notes, plus the character Annas from Jesus Christ Superstar…