Self-amputation should not be your go-to…

David wants to amputate his right leg…  and replace it instead with a sproingy prosthetic.  He has a pinched sciatic nerve – which if he were to actually see the chiropractor and/or physiotherapist, he could probably fix.  But right now he thinks the best idea would be to amputate said limb and get a cool prosthetic. I’m hiding the the hack saws.

David: “This is not fun any more.”

Me:  “Was this really ever fun?”

David: “It had novelty for a while.  I was enjoying the wallowing.”

Me: “Maybe there’s somebody out there with a voodoo doll who is sticking pins in your hip!”

David: “That would mean that somebody out there really hates me.”

Me:  “I think that’s the only logical explanation, I mean, other than you not going to the doctor, chiropractor or physiotherapist. So Big Guy, who did you piss off?”

David: “I really don’t know.”

Me:  “Must be one of those many women who, when they throw themselves at you for sex, you turn down on account of the fact that you’re married to me.”

David:  “That must be it.”