Stoned dudes in Sears

I was recently in Sears buying underwear for Rissa.  I wasn’t really ‘put together,’ hadn’t dressed up, probably had no makeup on.  It was an emergency underwear trip – she needed them and she needed them fast.

I was lined up, ready to pay with my 6 pairs of xs panties, when the guy in front of me in line, a fairly well-dressed guy in his early 20s, stood staring at me.  He was transfixed.

“Your eyes are soooooooo blue…. They are incredible.  Joe… Joe… LOOK at her eyes – aren’t they the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen?”  His buddy waiting at the end of the cash looked at me and began to stare as well.

“Wow.  They are amazing.”

I was beginning to blush – I mean sure, my eyes are fairly blue and occasionally, if I’ve eaten too much wasabi, they’ll even go turquoise, but really, this was more than I’ve ever gotten from strange young men in a check-out line.  They were totally hitting on me.  I felt good.  I felt like I was having a MILF moment, it was a great day…  until I realized these two young men were most assuredly stoned.

“Joe, her eyes…. her eyes…  Miss…”

And he had just called me “Miss.” Bless his little heart.

They were completely stoned and the objects of their collective stoneated fixation were my eyes.  I moved my head from side to side – their gaze followed – apparently I was a living, breathing, blue-eyed tennis match.  I traded a look with the cashier.  She raised her eyebrows.

“Wow,” said the first dude.  “What are you doing here?”

“I’m buying underwear.”

They both blushed.  I don’t know what they were thinking before, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it now involved my nether regions.

“For my daughter.  I’m buying underwear for my daughter.”

They looked so confused.  I wanted to pat them on their little heads and tell them it was going to be alright.

As they left, these stoned dudes kept looking back.  I smiled and waved.  They shyly waved back.  It’s the little things in life that can make a gal’s day brighter.