Anyone else’s kid do this?

“If you had a fake laugh what would it be?”  Rissa asks as we’re walking to her dance studio. (We have one car, David takes it to school, if David’s late at work, we have to figure transportation shit out.  Rissa opted for the walking option instead of biking.  This happened half way through our 15 minute walk.)

“Beg your pardon?”

“We all need a fake laugh!  You know, if you had to pretend that you thought something was funny, when you didn’t really think it was funny – what kind of laugh would you have?  Would it be… you know…  (she trills) “Heee-heeee-heeee-heeee-heeee…  or… (she brays)  “AW-HAW-HAW-HAW-HAW-HAW…” or  (she snorts) “Giggle-giggle-snort-giggle…” or (she blarts) “Huh! HUUUUUUHH!  Huh-huh-huh…” or… (she machine guns) “Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh…”

I shoot her a look.

“My brain just thinks of these things. Sometimes I even confuse myself.   I’m saying this because so and so’s brother laughed and I honestly thought it was a fake laugh.  I laughed because his laugh was so ridiculous. And that got me to thinking.  You have to have a fake laugh.  Just in case.  You know, for emergencies.”

“I’d have to go for the Katharine Hepburn/Philadelphia Story  laugh.”

She looked dumbfounded.  Dear GOD, she didn’t know who Katharine Hepburn was.  I had failed her as a parent.  She’d never seen The Philadelphia Story.  She didn’t understand the brilliance of casting Cary Grant, Jimmy Steward and Katharine Hepburn as the three corners in a near-perfect screwball comedy triangle.   It was then I made a solemn vow to educate her, as we should all educate our children in classic cinema – we shall batten down the hatches and make a weekend of it.