EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!! He’s SO old!!
Oh, those iconic 80s dance films…. Quick! Name the winners! For me it’s three Fs, a D and a W – Fame, Flashdance and Footloose – Dirty Dancing and White Nights. Rissa had already seen Footloose, Dirty Dancing and White Nights – I got it into my head that she needed to see the other two. Last weekend it was Flashdance
You know how some 80s movies really stand the test of time and some don’t? I mustn’t have seen Flashdance since I rented it in the early 90s – cause man, oh man it’s not what I remembered it to be. Cue Jennifer Beals taking off her welder’s helmet and shaking her 80s hair about her shoulders…
Two dance/soft porn moments from that film that will remain embedded on everyone’s corneas: the splash of water on Jennifer Beals’ boobs as she sits in her chair and the running in place to Maniac while moving her hands all over her upper thighs – or, as is more than likely – the dance double having water splashed all over her boobs and running in place while moving her hands all over her upper thighs. And may I just ask? Could they not have found a better freaking wig for the dance double? Could they not have found a dance double who resembled Jennifer Beals even the tiniest bit?? But I digress…
The hair and fashion styles make me wince, mostly because I can remember wearing some of them myself, but I can’t really get into the mocking of the terrible choreography and dialogue because Rissa is freaking out.
“Oh, EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!! No! No, no, no, no…. He’s so old, he’s so old!!!” Rissa hides her head in the pillow, refuses to come out. “She’s 18! And he’s… he’s… SOOOOOOO OLD!!!! (Nouri was 38 when he made Flashdance. Jennifer Beals was 20, playing 18.)
Rissa is so wierded out, she almost has palpitations.
Then, in the after their date scene, when Jennifer Beals comes back into the living room of her warehouse loft, lifts up her leather skirt to sit across from Michael Nouri and pulls off her bra from under her off-the-shoulder sweat shirt in way more movements than it’s ever taken me to do the same manoeuvre.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!!“
“They’ve stopped now.”
“What is she doing? He’s old enough to be her father! I am disgusted in my soul. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!! Why couldn’t he be all successful and 22? Why couldn’t that happen?? I hate him!!
Now me, on the other hand, I’ve always had a thing for Michael Nouri – ever since he played Dracula in Cliffhangers in 1979, when I was… oh dear God, I was 11.
“No, it’s so wrong! SOOOOOOO wrong!!!”
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” She screams upon witnessing the restaurant scene where Jennifer Beals eats lobster and then sticks her stockinged foot in Michael Nouri’s lap. “EEEEEEEEEEWWW!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!! Make it stop!!!”
To Rissa, an age gap of more than 1 grade level is cause for a very deep seated gross out factor. I have no problem encouraging this tendency until she’s well into her post-secondary education.