Jane Austen with SEX!!!

WARNING: This post contains ‘adult’ content.

I’ve been mainlining Regency romances. Which is weird, because even in my romance novel addiction years (late teens, early 20s), I was never really into titles that had guys clad in extremely high-count linen shirts bending over corseted virgins on their covers. Contemporary romances with lots of sex and witty banter, that was my jam. Decades before the proliferation of erotic novels – body parts were still euphemistic and female orgasms occurred the instant that “his throbbing masculinity” entered her “lady flower.” 

The problem with having expanded one’s literary horizons is that reading utter shit is no longer an option.  I’ve tried, I really, really have, but as a mature woman, I am
completely unwilling to waste my time. I don’t want to have to red line a novel as I’m reading it. I want to be lost in it – I want to revel.  When I read fiction – I read to escape. And I can no longer potluck it when I read. I do research. I read reviews. 4 stars or better and I’ll read an excerpt. And if I like the excerpt, I hit the “add to cart” button on my e-reader and ZIP-BOOM-BAM – instant reading gratification. This methodology has allowed me to discover Loretta Chase’s Jane Austen-esque
romance novels… all the period social intrigue and witty banter of a
BBC mini-series along with a healthy side-helping of allusions to
cunnilingus!  

Finding a new author who manages to combine wit AND sex? Pure joy. As a relatively intellectual woman of the new millennium, I’m not supposed to admit that. I’m supposed to read ‘LITRA-CHUUH’ and non-fiction. And I do – but it ain’t my go-to. My go-to is escapism pure and simple and my favourite escape is witty smut. I like to have a chuckle while my lady flower begins to heat up, if you know what I’m sayin’.

And what’s more? I fucking love my E-reader. The E-Reader offers me freedom from outward justification. It allows me to read whatever the hell I want with no patronizing smirk from onlookers as they spy a pulpy book cover, be it romance, fantasy, sci-fi or thriller. Loretta Chase may well bankrupt me though. I can read about 300 pages in a day.  In the last 30 days alone I’ve spent a couple of hundred bucks on witty smut. I’ve got to start pacing myself. Plus, these Regency romances are jam-packed with intrigue, and because I’m reading one every other day, often late into the night, I wake the next morning having run from Cairo to Derbyshire and back again, all the while having been set upon by ruffians that I have to outwit without placing the one I love in utter peril.  It’s exhausting.