Gilmore Girls Meltdown

“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!” wails Rissa.  “WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!!!” She is flailing, face-down, on the couch.

“Yes we will honey.”  I smooth her back.  “We’ve got 77 days.”

“And 95 episodes!!”  How are we going to watch 95 episodes in 77 days?!?”

“Easy.  One episode a day, with 18 days where we watch two.”

“But then it’ll be like work and we won’t enjoy it.  We’ll resent it! WE CAN’T RESENT THIS!!!”

“Some days we can binge watch – like 8 episodes.”

“IT’S TOO MUCH!!!”

She’s panicking.  To her this is a seemingly unattainable goal. To me this is a perk, nay, a privilege.

“Whoa,
whoa, whoa there chickadee…  Say, 5 weekends of the next 12, we watch
8 episodes each weekend – so that’s 40 episodes of the 95 which means
then we only have to watch another 55 episodes over the remaining…  69
days. That’s only (insert mental gymnastics here) 3/4 of an episode a
day on those days.  If we watch 12 episodes each of those 5 weekends,
that’s 60 episodes of the 95, leaving us with only 35 for the remaining 69 days – a mere 1/2 an episode each day.   Sooooooooo easy….”

To say that Rissa shoots me a ‘baleful’ eye would be an understatement.

David takes a different tack. “I’m sending you both a link to the must-see episodes – there are only 19.”

Rissa
immediately runs to grab her phone.  “We’ve already watched three of
these!” she crows.  “No – five!!  No wait – SEVEN!!! WE’VE WATCHED SEVEN
EPISODES!!!  We only have to watch 12 more and we’ll have the gist of
everything.”  She reclines back on the couch, completely relaxed.

“See?” says David.  “Now you only have to watch 12 and you’re good to go.  No stress at all.”

“Oh, we’re going to watch all 95,” says Rissa.  “Those 12 are our backup.”