And good morning to you…
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Ggggggggggrowl… grumble… grumble… grumble… “Stupid yoga pants! Stupid bra! My boobs don’t belong in a bra yet!” grumble… grumble… grumble…
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. “Stupid stairs.”
Trip. Slip. “Stupid cat toy!”
grumble… grumble… grumble… “Stupid morning.”
“Still sleepy, huh?” Rissa comes over, enveloping me in a purple terry cloth hug.
grumble… grumble… grumble… “Not awake yet…”
“You need a warm beverage,” David says. “The kettle’s already on.”
sigh. whimper. “Stupid kettle… Sorry. I’m tired.”
“Yes you are.” Rissa pats me on the arm.
Collapse.
“Need to be on the floor, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Comfy down there?”
“No… it’s cold.” grumble… grumble… grumble…
David helps me up. “Sit.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Fine, don’t sit. Rissa, do you want 1/2 a banana?”
whimper… tears…
“Do you want 1/2 a banana?”
“Yes. But then I’d be taking food out of my own child’s moooouuuuth!” Bigger tears.
“Okay. You sit. Here is a banana. You going to be good to go in five minutes?”
sniffle… sniffle… “I don’t want to go outside.”
“I’ll drive. You just have to drive back. You can do that right? You’ll be awake by then?”
“I DON’T KNOOOOOOW!!!“
David and Rissa share a commiserative look.
“I’M A BABY BEAR!!!! ” grumble… grumble… grumble…
“Yes you are.” Pat. Pat. Pat.
“My eyebrows don’t work.”
“No, they haven’t woken up yet either.”
“I haven’t even peed yet!’
“Well, you’d better go do that then.”
***
Washing my hands… sniff… sniff… sniff… “This is disproportionate emotional response.”
“Yes it is. Come on.” David hands me my decaf. “This might help. I’ll drive. You can even lie back and sleep for the 10 minutes.”
***
whinge… whinge… whinge… “I can’t lie back AND drink coffee! Now I have coffee all over my coat…”
“You weren’t supposed to be drinking the coffee, you were supposed to be sleeping.”
“Which is it?? Do you want me to be awake enough to drive back or do you want me COMATOSE?!? Sorry… sorry…” tears
This is me, when woken in the middle of a sleep cycle and then being forced to drive. I apparently need a sign: DISTURB AT YOUR OWN PERIL.