Jet Engine Torso

Is it hot in here?

I have solved the impending energy crisis!  It’s so simple.  We hook up all the women in the world who are having hot flashes… into a power grid.  Women ‘of a certain age’ giving off their heat – the combined estrus  would produce more energy than the SUN.  As long as there are women enduring peri-menopause – we will have a never-ending energy supply!

Not quite sure of the logistics yet… the way the machines stole power from humans in The Matrix kind of wigs me out – although frankly, if I kept my hair long, the outlet thingie at the base of the skull might be hidden.

Or… no, wait!  WAIT!!  The outlet thingie could be a feature!  You know – embellished with Swarovski crystals and other great shit.  It’d work like Mary Kay!! But instead of a pink Cadillac for so many sales – the more heat a flashing woman gives off – the more bedazzled her outlet would be.  High heat producers would have higher quality platinum outlets with more precious gems – the most prolific of heat producers would get the rarest gems in the world like blue garnets and jadeite.  Women in their 40s and 50s would be the saviours of the planet – we’d be frickin’ rock stars.

“Bow to us you lowly youth – we rule the world!  Shower us with chocolate and salt and we will share our mighty power with you!  Show disdain for our wisdom and beauty and you shall die an Antarctic death!”

David just added his two cents.   “Or…”  There is a gleam in his eye.  “You could use some sort of turkey thermometer type thing, but you know with a, uh… vibrating capacity.  The power stations would be more like spas and you would, ahem, insert the, uh, vibrating probe, while women are on chaise lounges having pedicures.  Plus, you could film it.  Pretty much win-win all around…”