Face Palm
 |
| It’s not just me, right? |
Other works in this series include:
The counter above the dishwasher is NOT the dishwasher!
and
Similar Posts
Exactly how rich ARE you???
On Lakeshore Drive there is a house. Situated on the south side of the street, its back yard opens to Lake Ontario. I pass it every time I go for my extended walk. The new owners seem determined to transform this 1980s homogenized architecture into… something… more. I’ve been watching its transformation for months. In…
The alarm cat
Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Oh, for the love of… Meow. Meow. MEOW… MEOW…MEOW…MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWW! I look over at the clock. 7:17. I close my eyes, do a double take. What the? CRAP!! I stagger out of bed, open the bedroom door and face Minuit – the most irritated cat in the galaxy. She squints at me…
We’re the white trash!!!
I’d been holding back the hypervintilation for most of the morning. I’d stepped over and around things – did the Stanley meeting Livingstone in my bedroom as I finally located a pair of tights, pried open the vanity drawer that didn’t have its handle, because it STILL needs another coat of paint before the handle…
Chawing on one’s neck…
Yesterday, before heading into the backyard to weed everything that had the sheer mendacity to raise its head beyond the mulch, I sprayed my entire body with citronella. Every inch. And then, as a mosquito sexually assaulted me – sticking its nasty proboscis INTO my jaw – I realized – FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING…
I think I broke him
He seems like he might be in a fugue state…
What’s bigger than SUPER PLUS?
“Do tampons come in anything bigger than SUPER PLUS size?” asks Rissa. “I didn’t even know they came in a SUPER PLUS size…” I answer. “They do.” I only pick up Rissa-sized things. Having fully converted to the Diva Cup a while ago – I haven’t purchased tampons for me in so long. I do…