High pressure vampires…
After nearly a week of low-pressure snow squalls cavorting their way through Ontario – the sun has graced us with its presence. These barometric weather conditions offer the perfect metamorphic indredients to turn me into a sun-terrorized vampire. The back of my eye sockets proclaimed the shift in my dreams. Travelling to Australia via inter-gallactic spaceship – I was sent on an errand for extra-strength Tylenol and Advil, during intermission of the vampire musical – they couldn’t source fruit bats, so they dressed up 100s of chihuahuas with wings. It was so kind of Air Canada to add an 900 seat theatre as in-flight entertainment for its intercontinental flights.
When the alarm went off, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, that the 1.5 watt nighlight energy output had me wincing. Fighting back the nausea, I staggered to the bathroom and downed as much medicine as I could before collapsing into bed for another precious 1/2 hour of sleep. Covers over my head, I concentrated on deep breathing. “I am breathing in deep relaxation and breathing out all tension and pain… I am breathing in…”
SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
The apartment building next door has a snow removal contract. Which is great for them. It really is. Allows them to get their cars out, clears their sidewalks. Yay them. Yay. And I love how the snowplough operator takes his front end loader’s bucket and lowers it so that it can get the best scrapage – ensuring safety for all the tenants. Yay.
Now that the drugs are taking the edge off – I’ve decided to play. I can pretend I’m a starlet in my own home – sporting my Audrey Hepburn sunglasses. “Alright, just one autograph… Who do I make it out to?” I am I’m a newly-turned vampire dodging pockets of sunlight – because let’s face it folks – vampires do not just SPARKLE in the sun – they burst into flame – and seeing as I sunburn really easily – I’ve gotta be careful. I shift my chair, I crab walk into the kitchen to avoid direct light – which has me WAY ahead of the game for my quad and thigh exercises today! And the herbal tea remedy that I’m ingesting? Perfect start to the day!
I’m letting my inner PollyAnna out! Pain be damned. There’s sunshine for the first time in what seems forever and powdered snow that turns my streetscape into a freaking snowglobe. I am DETERMINED to enjoy it!