I laugh with everyone else when they post texts from their Mom peppered with profanity as the auto-correct takes hold of the device. I’m sure that if my Mom were texting me, her messages would be equally hilarious.
Typing too fast in Scrabble chat gives almost the same effect.
The smallest of things can make me happy. Watching a dog cavort in the snow, smelling gingersnap body lotion, hearing Grantaire sing those four notes in his part from Red and Black, “I have never heard him ‘ooh’ and ‘aah.’ If you were to have those notes, plus the character Annas from Jesus Christ Superstar…
In 1981, while conjugating the verb être in French class – my vision blurred. I blinked… blinked again. I then stuck the tips of my middle fingers into my eyes, discovering an abundance of eye guck loitering beneath my eye balls. rheum noun ˈrüm : a watery discharge from the mucous membranes especially of the eyes or nose…
Lola is the most erratic of our three cats. She’s the one whose pupils dilate to an alarming size as she stares at a point, just over your left shoulder, where a knife-wielding maniac has obviously taken up residence. She goes from 0 to feline parkour in less than a second. And she loves, loves,…
It hurts when I brush my teeth. My SUPER SPINATUS (Rotator Cuff) has betrayed me. I’m not brushing my teeth particularly violently or anything. I think it’s just those wee little movements at that particular angle. I start the day off wincing. And what’s really depressing is that it’s not from having had twisty-bouncy sex…
You see them in the lingerie departments of the Bay. You see them in the Sears catalogue. You have memories of your Gran or your Great-Gran wearing one. You think to yourself: I will never wear one of those. I’m shopping for one. I used to sleep naked. I used to revel in my naked…
I’m going to have to invest in new sports bras. More of the kind that do up in the back. Because, although I can clad myself in one of the pull-over-the-head types, if I very carefully manoeuvre around my damaged shoulder, getting this same sports bra off when it’s completely sodden with my post-exercise full-body…