I laugh with everyone else when they post texts from their Mom peppered with profanity as the auto-correct takes hold of the device. I’m sure that if my Mom were texting me, her messages would be equally hilarious.
Typing too fast in Scrabble chat gives almost the same effect.
“GAAAAAAAHHHH!!! HOLY MOTHER OF…!!!” I flap the dish towel in my panic. “What? What is it?” Rissa asks. “Treacherous insect!!” “What!?!” “Okay, so you know how when you said that there was a cobra in the kitty litter?” “I didn’t say there was a cobra in the kitty litter,” Rissa says, peeking around the corner…
WARNING: SO MUCH FEMALE STUFF In the summer of 1997, David held my hand as I sat at the triage desk of the local hospital. He looked concerned. I looked like I was going to pass out. The nurse looked wiser than Nicodemus from the Secret of NIMH. “Are you a new couple?” she asked,…
So this is how it goes is it? I now injure myself sitting. I came home the other night, and I ached, oh how I ached. I could barely walk. My hips, my knees, even my ankles refused give me support. Apparently they were going out dancing, maybe speed skating or snowboarding while I was…….
It took 15 years, but I have finally done it! I have replenished the shoe cache that I had before Rissa was born. Pre-Rissa I had a… I’m not going to call it a shoe fetish, ’cause it wasn’t like I was humping them or anything… instead I’ll call it a shoe… fascination. I had…
David and I are doing laundry at my parents’ place. It’s such a lovely day that we decide that we’re going to hang the clothes on the line to dry. After about 5 mintues, from within the house, I hear shrieks from my female relatives. My mother, Granny, Gran and Aunt Bea are all in…
Sitting naked on the side of the bathtub. Legs out over the edge. Wet hair dripping into the tub. Humming “Smoke on the Water” to myself. David stops on his way to the bedroom. “Are you okay?” “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” His eyebrows low on his forehead. “Why are you sitting there like that?” “I’m…