Is that a dirty book?
… asks Rissa as I pop open my e-reader. “I’m asking, ’cause you mostly have dirty books on there, right?”
“Yes, there are mostly dirty books on this e-reader. But this one hasn’t gotten dirty yet.” I’m not a fan of Dickens when I’m winding down with a book. Some good character development, some sex, some puns and I’m good.
“What’s this one called?” she asks.
“ Beautiful… something…”
“It’s called Beautiful SOMETHING? That’s a terrible title.” She leans back on the pillow and puts a lavender cat mask over her eyes to block out the reading light.
I explain. “No, it’s just that on an e-reader – or at least my e-reader – they don’t have the book title on the top of each page and you can’t just turn the book over to confirm the title or even the author. The book is one in a series and they all start with ‘Beautiful.’ Beautiful Bastard, Beautiful Stranger.. HAH! This one must then be Beautiful PLAYER.“
“So basically you could just have some random title and it wouldn’t even have to be sexy?”
“Possibly.”
Rissa lets out a snort of laughter, the lavender cat becoming displaced momentarily.
“What?”
“I’m thinking of titles now. Twenty questions with Irving.”
“You’re such a goof.”
“The Lampshade of Destiny.“
“Dude.”
“Indigo the Bullfighter Meets the Marsupials.” She is vibrating now with laughter.
“You are so weird.”
“Elbows and the Renaissance!!! Or, or… if you have sentences within the dirty book they could be even weirder, ‘She was fine until Marcel and his marionettes came to town’. “
She is silent for a moment and then starts convulsing with laughter.
“What?”
“I have to ̶ ” she stops. “I have to be able to do this without ̶ ” She blows out calming air, but then loses it again and pitches into a fit of giggles.
“WHAT?!?”
” ‘Linda never though that the limbo could be fun until she met Jean-Paul and his dog’ !!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA!!!!“
I am snorting now too. “How do you come up with this stuff?”
She cackles again. “I have my thinking ‘cat’ on. Get it? I’m wearing the cat mask? BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA!!!!“
This is one of the many reasons why I love my child.