I laugh with everyone else when they post texts from their Mom peppered with profanity as the auto-correct takes hold of the device. I’m sure that if my Mom were texting me, her messages would be equally hilarious.
Typing too fast in Scrabble chat gives almost the same effect.
“OH MY GOD!” Rissa exclaims. “What?” I ask, glancing up from my e-reader. “This,” she says, indicating her book. “THIS. STUPID. BOOK.” “What are you reading?” “Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. ARGH!” The book has fallen from her hands and banged her on the head. “Dude. Careful.” “It’s not me! IT’S. THIS. STINKING. BOOK.” She…
“I hate this game more than anything in the world,” says Rissa as we finish. My heart sinks. I’ve had such hopes. She’s an avid reader now – she knows so many words. I only tried to guide her word choices a… uh… few… (okay 6) times. She wanted to put down kinesis, but would…
BANG! Even on this windy, windy November’s day, the sound ricocheted off buildings. “What the hell was that?” David asked. I looked around wildly. “I don’t know, I don’t know!” My shoulder ached a bit. “Are you okay? Were you hit?” David gave me the once over, checking for blood. “I think maybe… I don’t…
“Would you mind grabbing my phone from the Jeep?” asks my friend Meaghan, as she’s filling out some paperwork at the permits desk. “Sure, no problem,” I say. I head out to the parking lot towards her white Jeep SUV. Try the doors. Locked. Run back inside. “Keys. I’ll need the keys,” I say. “Oh,…
It’s spring. Honest-to-God, grass-greening-up spring. Warmer air, buds on the trees and… cats. The cats are outside once more. Lazing on sidewalks in sunbeams, trotting up to you when you “puss-puss-pussssss…”, rolling around on their backs, begging for a tummy rub. There I am, walking back from the bank – I’d already had my cat…
WARNING: THERE IS BAD LANGUAGE IN THIS POST “Shit-Piss-Fuck-Mother-FUCKER!!” “What? What is it?” David asks, his interest now piqued. “This fucking touchpad!” “Okay, steady on there, my love.” “You fucking steady on – JUST LET ME FUCKING HIGHLIGHT THE FUCKING SENTENCE!!!“ “O…KAY… It’s time to take your hand off the touchpad.” “I HATE IT. I…