What’s happening to our Tupperware?

I must have a symbiotic worm hole in my house.  I swear to God that for every lost sock in the dryer, a Tupperware container also disappears.  I could earn a doctorate in this area.  I’m going to get a grant for the next phase of my thesis.

We have a billion Tupperware lids – all stacked in the island drawer – they must be going at it like rabbits in there.   I always check the fridge when we seem low on containers, and sometimes there are the science experiments in the back of the fridge, but that still doesn’t explain the multitude of extra lids residing in the drawer.  We haven’t been doing any house painting which usually takes up containers.  And let’s face it, you can’t really take a sandwich container without a lid unless you want a stale sandwich for lunch. 

Are gremlins in our house destroying just the containers?  For gremlin fun?  Are they dancing madly upon them as we sleep – cracking the questionably recyclable plastic – leaving us with only the lids –  which are freaking useless?? Strike that, not useless.  I have an artist friend, Lisa, who does eco-art.  She can take bread tags and create lighting shades for twinkle lights.  She has salvaged copper wire and bicycle wheels and made a freaking Korean Dragon.

Dragon, 2005,  Lisa Brunetta

So I’m going to send her all my old lids – she’ll know what to do with them.  She’ll create art, it will be astounding.

And I?  I will take my ass to the No Frills and purchase my biennial replacement containers.  WAIT!    WAIT!   GPS chips!!  We could put in wee little GPS chips…  create another layer of plastic on top – like a skin graft, but a plastic graft – which would allow them to still be washed, but would have them programmed so when you asked a family member if they knew where the containers were and they said no, you could say “AH-HAH!” and dance around calling them a liar, when you found said missing containers unde their bed. The technology’s not quite there yet, but I feel confident that, within the next year or so, I could perfect it.  I will be having my IPO in 2015.  Who’s in?