Canada: Back to the Dark Ages

Allow me to wax hyberbolic for a moment.  I love being Canadian.  It is the absolute best country in the galaxy!  I LOVE it.  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!  I love living in Canada.  The people, the wildlife, the breadth and scope of our land, the change in seasons…  I am proud to be a Canadian and to live in our democratic, and yes, somewhat socialist state.  I revel in our beauty and spirit of bon amie.  Very little in the Canadian experience causes me true ire because the abundance of good that we have as Canadians is so vast, so spectacular, so unlike anything else in the world…  But Holy crap, do I DESPISE losing the sunlight in the winter! 

Every year, come October, the sun rises a little later – which means that when you get up in the morning you’re staggering from your bed in the dark.  And not in that fun, because you’ve just had that drunken hookup with an ex and have to make it home before work, kind of staggering.  You’re staggering because without your bedside light on, you literally can’t see.  And, with due respect to our hardworking farming communities, unless you’re a shift worker, waking up when it’s still dark outside, just seems fucked up. 

They say that Daylight Savings Time helps, but really??  At 7:00 a.m. in November?  It’s pitch black.   And then, by about 4:30 p.m.?  PITCH FREAKING BLACK.  Three words: Seasonal Affective Disorder.  I don’t personally lose my mind (well not completely anyway) in the winter months, but my get-up-and-go gene tends to lay dormant, and I know plenty of folks who bring out their inner cave dweller for the duration of the winter… Monosyllabic, furrowed of brow and prone to beating things with sticks.

And those sunrise lamps for your bedroom?  Not sure if they actually work.  Over the course of 30 minutes, our light comes on very gradual-like to simulate the sunrise.  Now it might just be because right now we’re still staying up too late because we’ve got shit we need to get done, but in the morning, even with that gradual increase in light in our room, when you step into the hall, you still trip over cat toys because it’s so freaking dark.  WAIT!!  WAAAAIIIIIT!!!  Every home north of the 49th parallel could have an entire house that’s set up on solar battery powered sunrise simulators!!  So that, no matter where you are in your house, it seems like it’s actually day time.  You acclimatize yourself to that state for the the 1/2 hour 45 minutes before you leave for work and then… you step into darkness.  CRAP.  Suggestions?  Anyone?