Elbow Licker

“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!“

Rissa was laughing… maniacally… behind my back.  We were waiting for our luggage to be pulled from the storage room so that we could all pile into the van and head back home from our girls’ dance weekend in Toronto.

“What are you doing?”

“I just totally licked your elbow and you didn’t notice!”

“You did not.”

“I DID!!!“

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“No way.”  I turned away only to have her dissolve into cackle once more.

“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!“

“You didn’t just…”

“I did SO just…  BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!“

Thing is?  When Rissa starts laughing like that?  Those belly laughs?  It’s hard not to join in.  I didn’t know if she was lying or not, but man she was having fun on whatever crazy train she was riding, so I too, climbed on board. We were laughing so hard that the desk clerks started looking like they might ask us to vacate the lobby. We moved out into the valet parking area before the concierge picked up the phone to call the cops. As I was waiting to help load our luggage into the van, Rissa was again pitched into the throes of lunacy.

“I licked THAT elbow and then I licked THAT one right after – and you totally didn’t feel it!!  BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!!!“

By the time we recounted her elbow licking rampage to David, Rissa had surreptitiously licked my elbow 7 times.  There might have been a slightly cool feeling upon my funny bone, but not once did I catch her actually doing it.

So of course, in bed, I had to try it with David.  But just thinking about it gave me the giggles.

“Don’t even try it,” he said.

I was laughing so hard by this time that I was snorting.  “I won’t.  I won’t.”  I tried to calm myself with deep cleansing breaths.  “Besides, you’d be all prepared for it, so it wouldn’t work.”

“That’s exactly right,” he said, eyes half closed, one arm under his head.  “I think that Rissa is making this up anyway.”  His elbow was out there… in the open… right there… inches away from me…

I held my breath, my eyes laser beams boring into his closed lids.

“This is just one of those things where an urban legend…”

“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!“

“You didn’t!”

“I totally DID!!  And it was awesome!”

We did have a stern conversation with Rissa before she left for school yesterday – letting her know that we didn’t want to receive any phone calls from the Principal’s office when she started licking strangers’ elbows.

“Mummy.  Please.  I would only lick the elbows of people I know.  Stranger licking is just gross.”