For instance… according to my daughter, these are the signs for “Uterus Falling Out.”
Apparently last year, in Grade 7, Rissa
and her friends figured it out so that they could torment the boys. I
don’t know how accurate it is in ASL, but I’ll be signing it myself from
now on. Above Rissa exhibits the commiserative face during the signing, but it can also be done with the angry face.
Netflix has made me healthier. Well, Netflix and the tablet whereby I can view Netflix, has made me healthier. I take my collapsible treadmill out of the closet in our study, pop on a TV show, hit the START button and go. Minimum 30 minutes a day of guaranteed walking and that’s on top of…
I turned 44 today. That’s right the big DOUBLE 4!!!! I have lived, breathed, loved, hurt, gasped, screamed, laughed, fallen, jumped, dived, wallowed, basked and enjoyed life for the last 44 years. Yes, I have wrinkles on my face. You know why? Because I smile and raise my eyebrows and I’m 44 freaking years…
Leafing through Woman’s World while waiting at the vet’s office… Ad after ad after ad for drugs/products that spend the last 1/16th of their page on the small print. WARNING: may cause dizziness, nausea, itchiness, dry mouth, sneezing, anxiety, twitching, muscle aches, depression, seizures, anal leakage, loss of feeling in your left foot, temporary blindness,…
Me – this morning. It is before breakfast. It is before work. I am on the treadmill – watching Daredevil on Netflix. Moving at 3.5 miles an hour on an incline of three. ‘Cause if I don’t do it before I go to work, it will not happen for the rest of day. And if…
In my search for the perfect Mother’s Day cards for my mothers-in-law this week – (and that isn’t a typo – I have THREE mothers-in-law. Do the math on that one!) – I came upon the worst of the worst of cards. Treacly, forced rhyme crap cards that had me near to vomiting in the…
8:02 a.m. Eastern Time. I was dozing in bed, desperate to grab any extra resting time. The smallest of shudders had me opening my eyes. The bed was moving. It stopped. I must have been dreaming it. (I was somewhat stoned on a cocktail of ibuprofen and acetaminophen – DAY 1 of my period. I’d…