Face Palm
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| It’s not just me, right? |
Other works in this series include:
The counter above the dishwasher is NOT the dishwasher!
and
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When Cats ATTACK!
THE CHARACTERS Steve – An orange Tom cat – goofy, playful, more than a little bit dumb Lola – A very petite black cat – nervous, silly, terrified if you pick her up. Minuit – A rotund, older black cat – crotchety, belligerent, sounds like…
Cat Lap Dance…
Minuit, the oldest and most crotchety of our cats has a predilection for lap dances. Not the pervy receiving of… it’s not like she’s hanging around at the Brass Rail with $5 bills in her paws, waggling her eyebrows at the dancers. This cat, this 6 year old, overweight feline… she gives a kick-ass, albeit…
I am now THAT old.
This is the week. It’s the week that I bought a high-end bird feeder so that I can watch the birds from my kitchen window and I discovered that, from the side, I have jowls. And then, as I headed to Shoppers Drug Mart to replace my bottle of Women 50+ multi-vitamins, I realized that…
Pass me the Scalpel…
“Pass me the scalpel,” I say. “No,” says David. “Please?” “No.” “Don’t you even want to know what it’s for?” “No.” “I’m not going to use it for anything bad.” “You’re going to cut into your body right?” “Well, yeah, but just…” “And it’ll probably be near an important artery, right?” “I would completely avoid…
ALL THE BAD WORDS
WARNING: There are bad words in this post. * * * * * * “SHIT, PISS, FUCK, MOTHER FUCKER!!!” I yell, nausea washing over me. I have spent the last 60 minutes painstakingly placing, pinning, and subsequently sewing together the edges of outdoor fabric to a recycled zipper only to just now discover that the ends of…
You know you’re old when…
So this is how it goes is it? I now injure myself sitting. I came home the other night, and I ached, oh how I ached. I could barely walk. My hips, my knees, even my ankles refused give me support. Apparently they were going out dancing, maybe speed skating or snowboarding while I was…….