Face Palm
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| It’s not just me, right? |
Other works in this series include:
The counter above the dishwasher is NOT the dishwasher!
and
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David recently treated me to a romantic weekend away in the big city. He planned it all. We stayed in a hotel. We had fancy dinners. He even packed for me. He organized (ahem) activities. And by activities I mean… SEX… and lots of it, without your child’s ears in close proximity. In fact, having…
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I missed being the small spoon. If I didn’t really throw my arm over David’s side, I could almost manage the big spoon. But small spoon? Months had passed since I’d been able to lie on my right side and claim that privilege. Heavy sighs. Discomfort. Near tears… a new nighttime ritual. “What is it…
The common cold – anti-aphrodisiac…
“Ooooh… naked body…” says David as we hop into the shower together. He presses himself against me. “Dude.“ “What?” He lathers me suggestively. COUGH. COUGH. HACK. WHEEZE. spit. He stops momentarily. “You okay?” “Oh yeah, I’m great. Lung butter up to my clavical, but I’m good.” “You know what would make you feel better?” Without…
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I have been married for almost 23 years. Of those almost 23 years, 22.852 of them have been unreservedly, unabashedly, unquestionably happy. Relationships cannot possibly be all sunshine and roses all of the time. Once you’ve said your “I do’s”, you do not forever exist in a state of “Happily Ever After,” no matter how…
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There are the foods you should be eating… You know, iron-fortified foods, brown rice, lentils, dairy products, fish… all supposed to help with PMS and all, frankly, bullshit. We don’t want them, we don’t eat them. We find our own ways to get through the inconvenience of bleeding from our vaginas. My Top Ten Period…
Sex Show vs Home Show
David recently treated me to a romantic weekend away in the big city. He planned it all. We stayed in a hotel. We had fancy dinners. He even packed for me. He organized (ahem) activities. And by activities I mean… SEX… and lots of it, without your child’s ears in close proximity. In fact, having…
Feline induced funk
“We need to kill all the cats.” “Huh?” I am lying on my side in bed, eyebrows so low that I can feel them on my upper lip. “WE. NEED. TO. KILL. ALL. THE. CATS.“ “You don’t mean that. You love the cats.” “4:45!“ “Hmmm?” “4 FUCKING 45 this morning Minuit with her fishy kibble…
Craving cutlery
I missed being the small spoon. If I didn’t really throw my arm over David’s side, I could almost manage the big spoon. But small spoon? Months had passed since I’d been able to lie on my right side and claim that privilege. Heavy sighs. Discomfort. Near tears… a new nighttime ritual. “What is it…