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| It’s not just me, right? |
Other works in this series include:
The counter above the dishwasher is NOT the dishwasher!
and
WARNING: Inferred VERY ADULT Content “Ugh! Ma! Can you please NOT?!?” says Rissa. “What? You have to be able to talk about these things!” I respond. “It’s the absolute WORST word to come out of your mouth! I HATE it!” She shudders. “Oh my God, Rissa, it’s just cunnili—” Rissa fake retches while simultaneously screaming….
Oh yeah, I’m on the cutting edge… On my way home yesterday, it became apparent that I could never be one of those kids who wears his pants half-way down his ass. As I was cutting through the Via Rail parking lot, I could feel the waistband of my tights begin to give. I’ve had…
I’m needing some lift and separation folks. What with my apparently swelling mammary glands – I’m finding that my standard bras don’t seem to be doing the shaping that they ought. The cups are a little wonky, the band is stretched… I can’t remember the last time I bought a real bra. You know, a…
I’m looking into the back yard. Big, fluffy snowflakes are falling… “It’s snowing!” “Seriously?” The rest of the household does not appear as thrilled with early spring snow. Strange though – it’s only snowing in our yard. “Wait, they’re not snowflakes – they’re not just falling down, they’re sort of moving in other directions. Moths? …
Lesley has chicks. Baby chicken-type chicks. In her house. Four adorable balls of feathery fluff. I can barely contain my “squeeeee” of joy within the confines of my head. I have picked them all up – pressed them against my cheek. They are fluffy yellow examples of the perfection of our universe. I just found…
Ggggggggggrowl… grumble… grumble… grumble… “Stupid yoga pants! Stupid bra! My boobs don’t belong in a bra yet!” grumble… grumble… grumble… Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. “Stupid stairs.” Trip. Slip. “Stupid cat toy!” grumble… grumble… grumble… “Stupid morning.” “Still sleepy, huh?” Rissa comes over, enveloping me in a purple terry cloth hug. grumble… grumble… grumble… “Not awake yet…”…