Taxidermied Gophers
Does anyone else do this kind of stuff with their daughter?
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Apparently The Nightmare Before Christmas is much to old to garner immediate recognition. Oh God, I just Googled it – 19-freaking-93!!! That is 20 years ago! HOLY CRAP! No wonder I wasn’t recognized. Plus, I was missing some stitched-back-together scars when I went to work in the morning. It was a dark…
The horizontal bitch
“Is everything okay?” asks David, picking up on my funk. “Yep. All good.” I give him a big thumbs up with a side of overly-enthusiastic smile. He gives me a pointed look. I ignore him and lift my chin. Rissa says “Mama do you need a hug?” Yes, I do. I do need a hug. …
I’m raising a cynic
There are ramifications for encouraging one’s child to pay attention to shit. For encouraging an awareness of female behaviour and how women are perceived by the media and the world. At 12 years of age, Rissa has become a dyed-in-the-wool speech pattern cynic. Rissa loves cake decorating shows. She loves watching people design cakes. She…
Death-Mask Barbie
For the longest time, I wouldn’t let Rissa play with Barbies. I was taking a stand. We bought her Groovy Girls – the flopsy, cuddly, ethnic, pre-pubescent dolls. She probaby had 6 of them – all sporting fabulous 60s-inspired fashions. (One had a faux raspberry suede coat with some sort of shaggy fur-like trim…
She loves me THIS much…
WARNING: This post might gross some readers out. “Mummy, I’ve got something that you can pop on my back,” says Rissa as she comes down the stairs. I leap up from my chair. “You do!?!” This is groundbreaking. Rissa rarely lets me anywhere close to Zit Country. I can usually see it only from the…
Is it a standing coma or just a cold?
Children are plague carriers. Mine gave me her wretched cold. But on the plus side I just got to type ‘wretched,’ so that’s good. I think I have mucous behind my eyes. Colds don’t completely knock you out but they do limit your brain power and as I have shit to do, this is an…