WARNING: There is adult language in this post Just shoot me now. Please. I know, I know… I know that I’m not supposed to. After a long winter and meteorologically weird spring, I know that I’m supposed to be SO happy that heat has come to Canada… but for me, summer in Southern Ontario…
So you know when you lie on your back in bed and your boobs nearly rest in your armpits? What is that? Remember when you were in your 20s and the girls were pert and perky and in their place? It’s not like they’re National Geographic boobs now, but as I approach 45, they do…
Sconce light and candle light are not the same thing. We have these wall sconces on either side of the fireplace. They are adorned with vellum-type shades which cast a nice glow. The room looks warm and inviting. My thighs in this light? Cottage-cheesy and terrifying. “Don’t look!” I tell David. “DON’T LOOK!“ “Don’t look…
Too much? I’ve got boobs. Largish ones. On occasion, there’ll be a day where I’ll get dressed for work and as I’m walking to the office, I’ll notice that my attire for the day is a little more low-cut than I had originally thought. I’m not talking porn low-cut, but enough that as I’m looking…
WARNING: There is Too Much Information in this post After the second baby, I ended up with a turkey bum. The midwifery student was given the chance to practice her stitchery on me after the episiotomy. I think it might have been her first. She fucked it up. I have this extra piece of skin,…
We took Rissa to Sky Zone in honour of her 13th birthday. In case you’ve been under a rock, Sky Zone is Trampoline Heaven. It is an indoor TRAMPOLINE PARK!! Imagine a velodrome, but covered in trampolines!!!! I know, right?!? After having seen versions of this mythic place popping up in people’s Facebook feed, David…
I had a good week last week, I really did. I was a good girl. I limited my intake of all the bad-for-me stuff. I did. I didn’t eat after 7:00 p.m. I had club soda with lime instead of the Rusty Nails and Chocolate Martinis that called to me. Until Saturday night. That night…
Visiting a dude whose job is to stick his hand up your hooha is not my favourite thing – (unless that dude is my husband) – but I don’t dread it. I don’t get all freaked out about it. I usually sit back with a magazine while I’m waiting… sometimes I read during the exam. …
I was bad last weekend. I ate bad things. I made bad food choices. It began innocently with gluten and sugar, then devolved into potato chips, corn twists, cookies and then ended with (shudder) amusement park donuts. Although I did discover that Chester’s Corn Twists… Pretty much gluten free! Although deep fried in oil. My…
I know. I know. We’ve been told… and told again. You cannot ‘spot lose’ weight. Like, say, if your body is in great shape, except for your inner thighs, or back fat, or armpit pudge. There are NO exercises that you can do to get rid of the extra flesh in one specific area. You…