I think I need to eat more. At meal times. Since I started working ‘outside the home’ again, my eating habits have gone to utter crap. Over lunch I usually have a dozen rice crackers with one of those wee cans of tuna – or maybe I’ll have a Lara Bar and wash it down…
This is NOT me eating something bad for me.. To chocolate. And salty foods. And apparently Rusty Nails… My healthful ingesting self-control seems to be at an all-time low. What the hell is wrong with me? And what am I eating now? Chocolate covered pretzels. They were a gift. How was the gifter to know…
When did I start having these crazy-ass hand veins? How did that happen?!? I’m 44 with the hands of a grandmother. I want to raise my hands above my heart so that all the blood rushes from them and I can pretend they are still young and pretty and not all blue and bulgy and…
I am an archer. My arms stretch in opposing directions, pulling the nylon. But unlike the Olympic bulls-eye 229 feet away, my target is closer. The nylon/spandex thong in my hands is pulled near-to-tearing so that I may circumnavigate my hips. I’m Magellan! Boy shorts don’t cause this problem. Boy shorts squoosh everything into…
A Jewel on Queen West So I found these socks… these mind-blowing, amazing, hyperventilation-inducing-from-so-much-glee socks… on Queen West at a store that must, I think, cater to the drag queen set. (Original – 515 Queen Street West in Toronto.) This store was so awesome, I got a little dizzy. Jon had to remind me to…
WARNING: ADULT CONTENT Cutie Pie Wax Bar – Vancouver’s Waxing Destination vajazzle Pronunciation: /vəˈdʒaz(ə)l/ –vajazzle, v.: adorn the pubic area (of a woman) with crystals, glitter, or other decoration. Okay, have I been living under a rock? How did I not know about this? My friend Narda read it in a pulp fiction book and…
My weekend is full of Santa Claus Parades and Peter Pan rehearsals – so we’re into reruns… *** I’m not Scarlett O’Hara, which means a regular guy will not ever be able to sweep up into his arms. I was reminded of this the other night when David hugged me. I jumped up and wrapped…
…but in my dreams I dress like one. In my dreams I also carry myself like Audrey Hepburn. The way she glides down a staircase in Roman Holiday? That’s how I imagine I look. In reality I have WAY more linebacker in my presentation. I salivate as I pass by windows featuring adorable little smock-like…
So yesterday I spent a lot of time on my feet. A LOT. And those feet were in boots with heels. Not crazy-high heels, but high enough that when I stopped moving at the end of the day? I thought I might die. I’m pretty sure that the balls of my feet exploded. I might…
Two is so much better than one! Double the sports bra – 1/4 the bounce. Okay ladies. If you have ANY more than a B cup and you do ANY sort of exercise that has you moving faster than a saunter, you need to wear the appropriate sports bra. Hell, wear TWO sports bras. AT…