I know. I know. We’ve been told… and told again. You cannot ‘spot lose’ weight. Like, say, if your body is in great shape, except for your inner thighs, or back fat, or armpit pudge. There are NO exercises that you can do to get rid of the extra flesh in one specific area. You…
I think I need to eat more. At meal times. Since I started working ‘outside the home’ again, my eating habits have gone to utter crap. Over lunch I usually have a dozen rice crackers with one of those wee cans of tuna – or maybe I’ll have a Lara Bar and wash it down…
This is NOT me eating something bad for me.. To chocolate. And salty foods. And apparently Rusty Nails… My healthful ingesting self-control seems to be at an all-time low. What the hell is wrong with me? And what am I eating now? Chocolate covered pretzels. They were a gift. How was the gifter to know…
When did I start having these crazy-ass hand veins? How did that happen?!? I’m 44 with the hands of a grandmother. I want to raise my hands above my heart so that all the blood rushes from them and I can pretend they are still young and pretty and not all blue and bulgy and…
I am an archer. My arms stretch in opposing directions, pulling the nylon. But unlike the Olympic bulls-eye 229 feet away, my target is closer. The nylon/spandex thong in my hands is pulled near-to-tearing so that I may circumnavigate my hips. I’m Magellan! Boy shorts don’t cause this problem. Boy shorts squoosh everything into…
A Jewel on Queen West So I found these socks… these mind-blowing, amazing, hyperventilation-inducing-from-so-much-glee socks… on Queen West at a store that must, I think, cater to the drag queen set. (Original – 515 Queen Street West in Toronto.) This store was so awesome, I got a little dizzy. Jon had to remind me to…
WARNING: ADULT CONTENT Cutie Pie Wax Bar – Vancouver’s Waxing Destination vajazzle Pronunciation: /vəˈdʒaz(ə)l/ –vajazzle, v.: adorn the pubic area (of a woman) with crystals, glitter, or other decoration. Okay, have I been living under a rock? How did I not know about this? My friend Narda read it in a pulp fiction book and…
My weekend is full of Santa Claus Parades and Peter Pan rehearsals – so we’re into reruns… *** I’m not Scarlett O’Hara, which means a regular guy will not ever be able to sweep up into his arms. I was reminded of this the other night when David hugged me. I jumped up and wrapped…
…but in my dreams I dress like one. In my dreams I also carry myself like Audrey Hepburn. The way she glides down a staircase in Roman Holiday? That’s how I imagine I look. In reality I have WAY more linebacker in my presentation. I salivate as I pass by windows featuring adorable little smock-like…
So yesterday I spent a lot of time on my feet. A LOT. And those feet were in boots with heels. Not crazy-high heels, but high enough that when I stopped moving at the end of the day? I thought I might die. I’m pretty sure that the balls of my feet exploded. I might…