“So, how was your day?” I ask Rissa. “People looked at me weird when Nerine was holding my leg while I was feeling up my inner thigh.” Beat, two, three… I close my eyes for a moment. “O…kay… Explanation…?” “In Science we were using plasticine and toothpicks for a project, and I ended up sitting…
At the dinner table: I say to David, “You know what Will Smith movie we should see again? Six Degrees of Separation…” “Six degrees?” Rissa looks perplexed. “Yes, it’s a phrase that talks about the interconnectedness of…” “That’s like this big.” (She holds her fingers apart by this much, indicating the angle.) “That’s wee.” “Yes…
There was a discussion around the dinner table about how many teenagers in the Family Studies class at David’s school have ended up pregnant since the course began. A lot. Like more than a handful. These girls are in a class that GIVES them condoms and information on how NOT to get pregnant! I might…
This picture will make more sense at the end of the post So at dinner last week we were talking about irregular heartbeats. You know… for fun… “You used to have a heart murmur,” I tell Rissa. “When you were a baby.” “What’s a heart murmur?” “It’s like an extra heart beat on top of…
“NO!!! NO!!! Where’s the remote?!? Where is the next episode? What is going to happen?!? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” (collapse, collapse, collapse…) “Oh WAILEY, WAILEY, WAILEY!“ We were watching the first (and sadly, only) season of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Around episode 19 or so they got all cliff-hangery. I’m pretty sure that’s when Rissa started…
Rissa had two big firsts over the weekend. She was french kissed AND felt up. By a two year old. In a monkey suit. The kid got to 2nd base under the guise of a ‘tickle fight.’ The kissing? Some good old toddler ‘affection.’ Afterwards we took Rissa out to dinner. You celebrate milestones when…
About a month ago, David got this fancy-schmancy light that gradually becomes brighter and brighter to simulate a sunrise in our bedroom. I’m not making this shit up. We live in Canada – it is now winter – coming out of hibernation sucks at the best of times. This light takes about half an hour…
Asks Rissa. At bedtime. Because she’s crazy. “Mummy, how do snakes actually have sex?” “Pardon?” Gear shift. I was mildly confused as the last thing she’d said had been: “Mummy what if you just started sprouting extra ears all over your head?” As to the snake sex thing, I really hadn’t a clue. I was…
“Don’t show anyone your boobs online!” “Don’t type anything that you wouldn’t want your grandparents to see!!” I know her friends, they’re all good kids and maybe I’m worrying over nothing at this point, but my mind goes to these freaky places. You know the ones – where my tween daughter is pregnant and hooked…
I catch myself doing it. Yesterday was Pink Shirt Day at school in support of anti-bullying. Rissa loathes pink – she was wearing a coral coloured shirt. “I thought you were wearing pink today… for the anti-bullying thing.” “This is pink.” pause, 2, 3, 4… “That’s not pink.” “Yes it is.” “Rissa I hate to…