Dicks. SO many dicks out there on the interwebs. Leaving virtual spooge on our screens and an ether trail of fake websites / Facebook pages / online stores. Preying upon the vintage clothing / cheap electronics / insert niche market here nerds. I freely admit, I click that bait. Vintage style wool coat? The Angels’…
It might take a village to raise a child, but God forbid if you actually attempt it in North America. Parenting in the new Millennium seems to have taken on the Three Monkeys approach: See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Parents have become myopic helicopters hovering over their children’s playgrounds, test scores…
When you’re pregnant you become a public commodity. Strangers ask you your business, tell you whether you’re having a boy or a girl and have opinions on what foods go in your cart at the No Frills. Way back when… when I was pregnant with Rissa – I was working in an office. I did…
Oh Noro Virus – you yellow rat bastard… You don’t just take the 24-48 hours of hovering near-death from your sufferers, but you take the “still contagious” time after the infected begin to improve. So even though I’m now only slightly nauseated and achy and could probably handle getting back to work if I were…
HURRAY!!!! Recently, Rissa arrived home from school, all moany and growly and generally not her usual bouncy self. “Are you tired honey?” “NO! My PERIOD started.” Grrrrrrrrrr… (So… I have this thing. Women shouldn’t use their periods as a convenient excuse for just being moody bitches. Yes, most definitely it can be a pain in…
Everybody wants something, right? And you don’t get something for nothing. That’s the rumor. Watch out folks, my inner Pollyanna is courteously clawing her way to the surface! The sun is shining and I’m filled with the frickin’ milk of human kindness. I have a proposition: what if instead of all the take, take, taking…
I hate the faux Christians. Love, love, LOVE the real ones – I know a bunch and they are the kindest, most supportive and liberal-minded folks out there. The faux ones? They’re the ones who hide behind the Bible and pretend to be all godly, but are actually prejudiced, racist and pretty much ignorant of,…
The phrase “SPARE NO EXPENSE!!!” would readily fall from my lips. My holiday shopping would be joyfully a la carte. I would tip with bills, not toonies. I don’t have that kind of disposal income… right now. But very soon, very soon (insert scheming world-domination maniacal laughter here) it shall come to pass… So here’s…
Dear Amy Einhorn Books/Putnam: Please let Jenny Lawson rest. Please. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened was on the NY Times Best-Seller list for 4 months – often in the top 15 books. You’ve made TONNES of money off it. She’s done her bit with touring and readings and book signings and BIG SURPRISE she ended…
TRYING NOT TO SUCK… So this is me getting back on the Blog Wagon. Typety-typety-type up in the office. Listening to my almost 12 year old daughter telling her friends as they come in from the back yard, “PEOPLE!!!! Feet… covered in dirt!!” Wonder where she gets that from? Yep it’s her voice, MY speech…