On 100,000 Pyramid. On Facebook. Because I’m such a geek. And what’s stupid? I get anxious when I play. I start freaking out… when I can’t think of the word. My angina kicks in a bit. I give myself angina playing a game on Facebook. I am a ginormous dufus. It’s understandable though. On account…
Because why? Because every now and again when I go to clear the answering machine of messages – I discover things. Things that should have been written down kind of things. When we get to around 8 saved messages, I try to clean them out. Yesterday I discovered that, unbeknownst to me, my friend Lisa…
These little piggies need to go to a podiatrist… Ladies and Gentlemen I give you… HAMMER TOE GIRL!!! Or possibly MALLET TOE GIRL! or CLAW TOE GIRL! 44 years old and I just realized that I have mutant feet. I thought I was dealing with some minor foot pain, brought on by corns. Turns…
The days of miracles have returned! I am the living, breathing recipient of a freaking miracle! PRAISE BE TO EVERY GODDESS ASSOCIATED WITH THE FEMININE CYCLE!! For the first time in over 8 years, my period is LATE!!! (insert Hallelujah Chorus here) It has been almost 5 weeks since my last cycle. To some women…
Underwater photography by the amazing Rafal Makiela I’m making the effort. My head’s above the surface… but there are days…. Days when, honestly, it would be easier to go under and stay under. Suck in water and sit at the bottom of the pool. Instead, I drown proof. I’ve been fighting my body for as…
A respectful deviation on Wingsdomain Art and Photography’s – Quoth the Raven Nevermore Picture, if you will, a raven. Now imagine that raven on the inside of your skull. Imagine that raven has its claws firmly around your eyeballs. Your optic nerves haven’t been severed… yet… but you can actually feel the claws around the…
In the continuing saga of how Heather is a brain-dead bunny… Apparently, I caused my own withdrawal. Because why? Because I am a moron. I mean, seriously. WHAT. THE. FUCK. There should be a picture of me next to the “Do not operate heavy machinery” warning. Last week? When I tried to circumvent the pharmacy…
I don’t know if it was a byproduct of me still jonesing for my angina meds or the couple of glasses of wine I had last night during dinner, but Sweet Bleeding Yoni – Saturday night’s night-sweats were EPIC. Jenn from The IT Crowd during Aunt Irma’s visit I was UP. All night. Every hour…
Okay, seriously? Peri-menopause AND withdrawal symptoms?!? WHAT. THE. FUCK. Just frickin’ shoot me now. Last week, when I went to the pharmacy to refill my angina medication, they told me the scrip was over a year old and that they had to contact the physician to see if he would okay it. Admittedly, the prescription…
I’m taking baby aspirin. In these wee, tiny, little pills – scattered amongst my morning vitamins. They seem so innocent and nothing at all like blood thinners. Recently, when I maybe, just perhaps, gouged compulsively into my inner thigh, digging for a covert ingrown hair (for the love of Eastern Block Estheticians, can we please…