BANG! Even on this windy, windy November’s day, the sound ricocheted off buildings. “What the hell was that?” David asked. I looked around wildly. “I don’t know, I don’t know!” My shoulder ached a bit. “Are you okay? Were you hit?” David gave me the once over, checking for blood. “I think maybe… I don’t…
Oh yeah, I’m on the cutting edge… On my way home yesterday, it became apparent that I could never be one of those kids who wears his pants half-way down his ass. As I was cutting through the Via Rail parking lot, I could feel the waistband of my tights begin to give. I’ve had…
WARNING: THERE IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION IN THIS POST. Winter in Canada. Cold, right? In some places VERY COLD. We’re not even into ACTUAL winter yet and I can see the effects on my poor spouse. We went for a walk on Friday night as the sun was going down and David was unprepared. After…
By my own ass, no less. It’s the 3-way mirror’s fault. Feeling great about myself – finding that cute perfect-for-me dress – that I actually have the money in hand to pay for – I sashay my ass into the change room. I cast off my clothes and as I’m turning around, I catch a…
For instance… according to my daughter, these are the signs for “Uterus Falling Out.” Apparently last year, in Grade 7, Rissa and her friends figured it out so that they could torment the boys. I don’t know how accurate it is in ASL, but I’ll be signing it myself from now on. Above Rissa exhibits…
I should have known better than to post that I had an abundance of energy. Those petty cold gods sure do love their schadenfreude. Tuesday morning I awoke… no, strike that. Who am I kidding? I never really woke up during the day. Went back to bed for a couple of hours to see if…
Fall Back is my favourite time of year EVER. To have forgotten to set your clock back on Saturday night and then have the unexpected epiphany Sunday morning that you can sleep in the extra hour? And then there’s the following Monday! That day where your body wakes up feeling refreshed, recharged and ready to…
Apparently The Nightmare Before Christmas is much to old to garner immediate recognition. Oh God, I just Googled it – 19-freaking-93!!! That is 20 years ago! HOLY CRAP! No wonder I wasn’t recognized. Plus, I was missing some stitched-back-together scars when I went to work in the morning. It was a dark…
Netflix has made me healthier. Well, Netflix and the tablet whereby I can view Netflix, has made me healthier. I take my collapsible treadmill out of the closet in our study, pop on a TV show, hit the START button and go. Minimum 30 minutes a day of guaranteed walking and that’s on top of…
“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! Look at them! LOOK AT THEM!!!” “You’re a dog!” says Rissa. “No, I’m not!” says I. “You’re totally a dog. You’re all like… talking, talking, talking, conversing while walking… SQUIRREL!!!!“ “You can’t tell me that you weren’t entertained watching those two squirrels chase each other around and around that pine tree. And then when…