Feeling too structured in your cycle? Wanting more spontaneity in your underwear choices? TRY PERI-MENOPAUSE!! Women all over the world are now enjoying less frequent periods while still getting all the blood loss they typically had–in shorter (or sometimes longer) times! “I’m just thrilled with having my period again for the 2nd time in two weeks!”…
“We’re really doing this?” asks David. “I’m willing to try anything,” I respond. “All right, lie down.” He pulls the sheet over me before hefting up a weighted blanket. Filled with 8 lbs of plastic beads, the blanket is deliciously cool against my body despite its weight. I am forgoing a sleeping pill so that…
With the maximum recommend dosage of Tylenol and Naproxen in my system to combat the migraine spike in my right eye, I collapse back into bed. I adjust the cold beanbag on the back of my neck and another over my eyes. Two and a half hours later, I awake pain-free and ready to head…
“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.” “Hmmm? What?” yawns David, before falling back asleep almost instantaneously. It’s 1:30 a.m. Moments ago I was curled next to David, really loving being the Big Spoon. Now I am temperature of the sun. The Lava Queen by Wasudo (Deviant Art) Covers off. I’m sweating from every pore in my torso… neck… scalp. Ugh. …
For once I am not talking about my pubic hair, or even referring to yours. (‘Cause let’s face it, the boat carrying that particular shade of carpet sailed decades ago when I discovered Flirt hair colour.) It’s all about lipstick. Please follow my idiomatic extrapolation. I’ve been testing lipstick shades on the back of my…
“Do you see this?” I ask. “What?” David is towelling his hair. “This.” I turn the left side of my face to him. “This.” He comes closer. Looks. Then looks again. “I don’t see anything.” “This.” I use my finger to show him what I’m talking about. “I don’t see anything.” “I’m growing a beard.”…
Warning: descriptive female issues in this post. “OH FOR THE LOVE OF…” “What is it?” “Day Eight apparently.” “Are we in the playoffs?” My baleful eyes could burn through steel. “I am BLEEDING out. I was done. The Diva Cup was empty.” David winces in naive male sympathy/horrified visualization. “And now the cup runneth over?”…
It’s come to this: I am now answering Facebook quizzes in my own head. Without the computer. And not the normal ones like: Which Disney Princess are you? Which Shakespearean character would you be?What breed of cat are you? Nope, this mostly Pagan gal has this one pin-balling around her cranium: Which Bible character is…
The last time I went to Sky Zone Trampoline Park – for Rissa’s 11th birthday – I was unprepared. Even though I had ’emptied’ my bladder twice before stepping onto the trampoline, my baby-stretched urethra gave up on the first bounce. (Not to say that I gave birth through my urethra – childbirth doesn’t work…
“Is everything okay?” asks David, picking up on my funk. “Yep. All good.” I give him a big thumbs up with a side of overly-enthusiastic smile. He gives me a pointed look. I ignore him and lift my chin. Rissa says “Mama do you need a hug?” Yes, I do. I do need a hug. …