If you knew nothing about me other than the combination of pills I take in the morning, how old would you think I am? 70? 80? To be fair, most of them are pretty innocuous. Most of the pills are to up my immune-system so that the colds and flu that I used to suffer…
Why, oh why don’t we listen to our bodies? When they’re full, I mean. Of food. I either need to throw up or ingest vast quantities of TUMS. I am smarter than this. This chipmunk is me. The peanut is the last chocolate-covered pretzel. I made a bad choice. I should just know better. Yesterday…
I turned 44 today. That’s right the big DOUBLE 4!!!! I have lived, breathed, loved, hurt, gasped, screamed, laughed, fallen, jumped, dived, wallowed, basked and enjoyed life for the last 44 years. Yes, I have wrinkles on my face. You know why? Because I smile and raise my eyebrows and I’m 44 freaking years…
You know the phrase “Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow”? Well I must be a freaking Clydesdale. Never in my life have I glowed. I don’t participate in group exercise for this very reason. Why, oh why would I want more than a dozen people at a time to see the sweat stains that evolve…
I’m not that gal who uses PMS as a convenient excuse for bad behaviour. I’m that gal who despairs that the cliches that abound regarding PMS and MS and PostMS are all pretty much accurate. I get my period once every 23 days – Thank God for Vitex from the Health food shoppe – otherwise…
Yesterday morning I awoke in the midst of another horrific hot flash. Stumbling and growling all the way down the stairs – David and Rissa’s eyes got really big as I stomped my way into the kitchen. Fanning my face with my hands and flapping my arms to get air into my armpits. “I’m not…
Last night we went over to our fabulous neighbours’ place for dinner. Kaye holds the title for BEST COOK I KNOW. For the longest time my Mom held the title hands down, but Kaye is a beast when it comes to cooking. We had this appetizer that was 1/2 an avocado with crab salad inside…
The release of steam at the end of a day. This is what blogging is for. Things like my cat. Lola. Or as we affectionately call her – Lola ‘Bola Virus – who decided that she wanted to wear my rhinestone necklace this morning at 4:47 a.m. Our little cat burglar tried to abscond with…
Yes. I used to placate my mother when, in her 40s and 50s, she would say “Is it hot in here?” Our whole family would. My father, brother and I would say “PHEW!! Yes, MAN is it HOT! Steaming!!!” She was not amused, and she always said to me, “It’ll come back to haunt you,…
In my search for the perfect Mother’s Day cards for my mothers-in-law this week – (and that isn’t a typo – I have THREE mothers-in-law. Do the math on that one!) – I came upon the worst of the worst of cards. Treacly, forced rhyme crap cards that had me near to vomiting in the…