It appears that I can no longer sleep on my side. Because when I do? My face develops sleep craters. I get up, well-rested, thinking all is well with the universe, until I look in the mirror. My face, which had enjoyed the delicate sqwoosh of the pillow beneath my cheek, now has a…
WARNING: There is adult language in this post Just shoot me now. Please. I know, I know… I know that I’m not supposed to. After a long winter and meteorologically weird spring, I know that I’m supposed to be SO happy that heat has come to Canada… but for me, summer in Southern Ontario…
So you know when you lie on your back in bed and your boobs nearly rest in your armpits? What is that? Remember when you were in your 20s and the girls were pert and perky and in their place? It’s not like they’re National Geographic boobs now, but as I approach 45, they do…
WARNING: Female things discussed. Peter de Seve, Thar She Blows (sketch) I am in idiot. Why couldn’t I just leave well enough alone? Sure, there was that pregnancy scare because I hadn’t had my period in 3 months, but why couldn’t I just embrace the peri-menopause? Why did I have to seek out the OBGYN…
According to the cardiologist and am in near-perfect heart health. The chances of me having a heart attack within the next 5 years are almost nil!! HURRAY!!! HURRAY!!! According to him, my 5-year history of chest pain is not related to my cardiac health. “So Doc, what is causing my chest pain?” “I have no…
We took Rissa to Sky Zone in honour of her 13th birthday. In case you’ve been under a rock, Sky Zone is Trampoline Heaven. It is an indoor TRAMPOLINE PARK!! Imagine a velodrome, but covered in trampolines!!!! I know, right?!? After having seen versions of this mythic place popping up in people’s Facebook feed, David…
WARNING: THERE IS FOUL LANGUAGE IN THIS POST I bit the bullet. I bought a pregnancy test. Even though I’m in peri-menopause and David is fixed. I used it yesterday afternoon, right before my Mom, Dad and brother Michael came to visit. I peed for “at least 3 seconds” and “no more than 5.” I…
Is what I’m thinking because I haven’t had my period now in 12 weeks. I know I’m in peri-menopause and all, but there’s still this little part of me that worries, you know? It worries that this extra weight which I can’t seem to get rid of lately, no matter how much I over-exercise and…
I had a good week last week, I really did. I was a good girl. I limited my intake of all the bad-for-me stuff. I did. I didn’t eat after 7:00 p.m. I had club soda with lime instead of the Rusty Nails and Chocolate Martinis that called to me. Until Saturday night. That night…
David is massaging my feet. He is the best spouse. We’d returned from an after-dinner walk; instead of me taking the lead, I’d been dragging my feet a bit, looking a little low. (I’d had a cardiologist’s appointment in the morning. More tests – this one with me wearing an air-tight mask, riding a…