WARNING: Female things will be discussed So you know how when women are around each other a lot, they can start to synch up their menstrual cycles? Well in peri-menopause that morphs into Period Ping Pong. My girlfriend Anne-Marie and I are racing to see who can stop menstruating first. “I’ll see your 23-day cycle…
On 100,000 Pyramid. On Facebook. Because I’m such a geek. And what’s stupid? I get anxious when I play. I start freaking out… when I can’t think of the word. My angina kicks in a bit. I give myself angina playing a game on Facebook. I am a ginormous dufus. It’s understandable though. On account…
I need to wax poetic for a moment. Sleep, oh thou elixir of life, how your enveloping embrace maketh me to want to give you sexual favours. Calcium Channel blockers, oh thou relaxer of blood vessels (even the small ones), how your pervasive travel through my system maketh me want to praise your merits in…
I should have done WAY more Kegels while pregnant. Firming up that pelvic floor should have been a priority. Sure I did them, but I don’t think I did enough of them. Kegels are a bit weird… I don’t know, kind of… squidgy… Concentrating on those muscles for too long – it made me feel…
The days of miracles have returned! I am the living, breathing recipient of a freaking miracle! PRAISE BE TO EVERY GODDESS ASSOCIATED WITH THE FEMININE CYCLE!! For the first time in over 8 years, my period is LATE!!! (insert Hallelujah Chorus here) It has been almost 5 weeks since my last cycle. To some women…
Underwater photography by the amazing Rafal Makiela I’m making the effort. My head’s above the surface… but there are days…. Days when, honestly, it would be easier to go under and stay under. Suck in water and sit at the bottom of the pool. Instead, I drown proof. I’ve been fighting my body for as…
Heather the Valkyrie Deviant Art (helmet acquired from the artist Lodin) It’s been more than two weeks now, suffering from the Nachtschweiß. I feel the German phrasing is warranted because night-sweat effects are near-Wagnerian. I am THIS close to grabbing a winged helmet and shrieking from a mountain top. Sunday morning, I was doing the…
In the continuing saga of how Heather is a brain-dead bunny… Apparently, I caused my own withdrawal. Because why? Because I am a moron. I mean, seriously. WHAT. THE. FUCK. There should be a picture of me next to the “Do not operate heavy machinery” warning. Last week? When I tried to circumvent the pharmacy…
I don’t know if it was a byproduct of me still jonesing for my angina meds or the couple of glasses of wine I had last night during dinner, but Sweet Bleeding Yoni – Saturday night’s night-sweats were EPIC. Jenn from The IT Crowd during Aunt Irma’s visit I was UP. All night. Every hour…
Okay, seriously? Peri-menopause AND withdrawal symptoms?!? WHAT. THE. FUCK. Just frickin’ shoot me now. Last week, when I went to the pharmacy to refill my angina medication, they told me the scrip was over a year old and that they had to contact the physician to see if he would okay it. Admittedly, the prescription…