I’m over there on the left… I am in stress-containment mode. Not for me, but for the other people in my house. The daughter. The husband. When did I become the sane one? As the parent of a 12 year-old daughter, there are certain instances when you find yourself treading very carefully. Last Thursday Rissa…
I provide my mother’s friends with entertainment. They love to hear stories of my outrageous life. Oh that Heather. The actress. The writer. The extrovert. They love to hear stories of… My slapping of strangers. “If you do that again, I’m giving you full warning, I will slap you.” He did it. I slapped him….
I was dead certain that the outline around the ice cream cone here was twinkling, that’s how stoned I am on sugar. OYEESH. So Amber’s Adopted-Mom brought these peanut butter squares to Amber’s bridal shower on the weekend. I just ate the last one. Since Saturday I’ve probably ingested maybe 6? Okay it was closer…
Brace yourself. I’m about to wax nostalgic. I grew up in Winnipeg. Twice. Once between the ages of 3 & 8 and then again between the ages of 15-18. My Dad was Air Force. He was a navigator. He ‘told the pilots where to go’ is how he used to put it. We lived off…
I iron quarterly. Beginning of school. Christmas. Spring. End of School. Last week I hauled down the ironing that had been waiting since June. I ironed dress shirts for David, some pillow cases, tablecloths, napkins and tea towels. Oh yes, I DO iron tea towels. I’m not anal enough to iron sheets, underwear or jeans,…
What you don’t see is the dude on the left then beats the other dude – TO DEATH Okay, so YES – it IS that time of the month again. And this time around, I noticed something… The closer I get to my period, the greater the chance I might lose my mind over grammar/proper…
It’s official – we are slaves to the internet. Thankfully the internet does not manifest as Jabba the Hutt and I don’t have to wear a bikini with a collar and leash – so that’s a plus. (Although to many, this might be deemed a perk.) Not the Internet While in Toronto last week, we…
So pretty much every time I’m in the shower, I lose half of my hair. David says I’m exaggerating. But it’s not like he can feel the ever-widening bits of scalp on his head. Okay, I might be exaggerating… The math wouldn’t work. If it were true, I’d be completely bald by now. It…
What Canadians say instead of “um.” I am not rich enough to warrant my politeness. I paid $26 for a buffet breakfast this morning, because I didn’t want to offend the waitress. See, she’d already poured me juice… I was unwilling to abandon a tumbler of orange juice on account of the fact that I…
It’s Zeb’s fault. David’s friend Zeb, who posted to Facebook about someone wearing a vintage Hanson t-shirt. I’m thinking: “VINTAGE HANSON? How old does that make ME??” But next thing you know, I’m googling Hanson to get my timeline right – it can’t be 20 years ago and it’s got to be at least 20…