I am now the mother of a teenaged daughter. How the hell did that happen? One day she was 3 and now she’s 13. Rissa is now 13. Except she looks like she’s 17. She draws the male eye. And not just the eye of her peers, but the eye of dudes who are a…
WARNING: Female things discussed. Peter de Seve, Thar She Blows (sketch) I am in idiot. Why couldn’t I just leave well enough alone? Sure, there was that pregnancy scare because I hadn’t had my period in 3 months, but why couldn’t I just embrace the peri-menopause? Why did I have to seek out the OBGYN…
So basically, if you threaten a cat with euthanasia? They get better. That’s what happened to Steve. One day at death’s door … Me checking in on him every two hours overnight as he was sequestered in our main floor bathroom. Him just lying there – near flat as a pancake and all glassy-eyed. And…
I’m okay in the brains dept. I have my 128 IQ. Or at least that’s what every free online IQ test tells me. So I’m smart, but not Mensa smart. David is Mensa smart – plus some. He’s around 162. But he can’t find the ketchup in the fridge, so draw your own conclusions. Rissa’s…
Just one whiff of it – always takes me back… Back to 1984. To being 16. To spending the summer in Nova Scotia at my grandparents’ house. To falling head over heels in love with a small town mechanic. Rodney. (sigh) He worked at the garage in Bridgetown. He wore grease-monkey overalls and at the…
You know Something’s Gotta Give? The movie with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson? We recently watched it with Rissa. Rissa loves a good romantic comedy. “EEEEEEEEWWWWW! He’s soooooooo old. How can he be dating her?” Early in the film, Jack Nicholson is dating Amanda Peet – who is less than 1/2 his age and plays…
According to the cardiologist and am in near-perfect heart health. The chances of me having a heart attack within the next 5 years are almost nil!! HURRAY!!! HURRAY!!! According to him, my 5-year history of chest pain is not related to my cardiac health. “So Doc, what is causing my chest pain?” “I have no…
“You should feel this Mummy,” says Rissa, as she deliberately creases her forehead. “It gets all lumpy. It’s awesome!” “I always liked that I could move my scalp back and forth,” I reply – taking my fingertips and moving my scalp over my skull and then reaching over and moving hers. “Wait! Wait!” she begs. …
This is the soundtrack to this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0 Driving back from a 13th birthday party. Rissa and two friends are in the backseat near-to-collapsing from an afternoon in the blinding sun – hair still wet from a homemade Slip-n-Slide. “Daddy! Daddy can you please put it on ‘aux’?” Rissa asks. David changes the stereo input….
Sconce light and candle light are not the same thing. We have these wall sconces on either side of the fireplace. They are adorned with vellum-type shades which cast a nice glow. The room looks warm and inviting. My thighs in this light? Cottage-cheesy and terrifying. “Don’t look!” I tell David. “DON’T LOOK!“ “Don’t look…