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  • Body Image Blinders | Peri-Menopause Pandemonium

    I’m just a girl who can’t say no…

    Byheathertheblogger March 22, 2013

    This is NOT me eating something bad for me.. To chocolate.  And salty foods.  And apparently Rusty Nails…  My healthful ingesting self-control seems to be at an all-time low.  What the hell is wrong with me? And what am I eating now?  Chocolate covered pretzels.  They were a gift.  How was the gifter to know…

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  • Animal Antics

    Frenzied Feline Ferocity

    Byheathertheblogger March 21, 2013

    Every morning outside our door, the cats lie in wait.  Pawing first.  Then head-butting.  Then heaving their shoulders into it.  Chirping, meowing, then yowling follows.  Lola’s the yowler.  She yowls when Minuit growls then bites her.  Minuit is NOT a morning cat. Steve, our dopey orange male, runs up and down the upstairs hallway any…

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  • But seriously...

    I HATE this part of being a Mom…

    Byheathertheblogger March 20, 2013

    Detail from: http://www.etsy.com/listing/94665109/sick-girl-vfisit-by-mother-nun-1890s I hate, hate, HATE – this part of being a Mom.  Rissa has a stomach bug.  She’s so pale.  Almost as tall as me, yet as I’m smoothing her back while she woofs her cookies into the porcelain, I feel so freaking helpless.  She’s a delicate woofer – no over-the-top gagging, just…

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  • Losing My Mind

    Southern Ontario family perishes from hypothermia…

    Byheathertheblogger March 19, 2013

    Yesterday morning it was 16 degrees in our house.  I met Rissa in the kitchen – she was bundled into her ginormous bathrobe, over which she had thrown on my down-filled winter coat.  She was breathing on her hands to warm them.  My first thought: Dear God, the boiler has given up the ghost, we’re…

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  • But seriously...

    That erection is not for me.

    Byheathertheblogger March 18, 2013

    Warning: Adult Sexual Content Sunday morning, I gently wake.  Snuggling into David in bed.  He moves his arm so that I can rest my head on his chest.  I make yummy noises.  This is perfection.  I run my hand over his chest and then downward. “Well ‘Hello Sailor!’” Nothing like being given a full salute…

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  • Opinions with a Capital 'O'

    I always have to have my own spin…

    Byheathertheblogger March 15, 2013

    Thank you so much Bad Word Mama for nominating me for the Liebster Award! Very kind of you indeed.  It is always nice to know that someone thinks well of you.  And that someone thinks well enough to encourage you to post a kick-ass graphic and share the love with other bloggers?  Pretty gratifying.  Nice…

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  • But seriously...

    Self-amputation should not be your go-to…

    Byheathertheblogger March 15, 2013

    David wants to amputate his right leg…  and replace it instead with a sproingy prosthetic.  He has a pinched sciatic nerve – which if he were to actually see the chiropractor and/or physiotherapist, he could probably fix.  But right now he thinks the best idea would be to amputate said limb and get a cool…

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  • But seriously...

    Tuna Sweater

    Byheathertheblogger March 14, 2013

    Every time.  Every single time.  When I open a can of tuna – I end up with tuna sweater, or tuna shirt or tuna blouse or tuna dress.  If I have long sleeves on – I end up smelling like a fish market… I met David at the door the other day, wrapped my arms…

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  • Animal Antics

    The Anal Gland Squeeze

    Byheathertheblogger March 13, 2013

    WARNING: This post is gross Me, averting my nose.  Minuit, really pissed. My cat, Minuit, stinks.  Really a lot.  She has impacted anal glands.  Probably on account of the fact that she’s so fat – something that happened when she developed her fear of people when we lived in New York for 6 months.  When…

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  • But seriously... | Opinions with a Capital 'O'

    The Naked Heather

    Byheathertheblogger March 12, 2013

    You never know how much time you really spend naked until your kid has a sleepover. Thursday night, Rissa had three other friends sleep over, and I had to make a concerted effort NOT to be naked in my own home.  I had to close doors, I had to take a bathrobe with me when…

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