Perfect Bludgeoning Instrument So he found it. He found the note that said “crystal vase for bludgeoning.” He gave me an odd look. It made perfect sense when I wrote it down. I was putting away the vase after having washed the residue from Rissa’s dance recital flowers from its sides. This vase had some…
Yesterday, before heading into the backyard to weed everything that had the sheer mendacity to raise its head beyond the mulch, I sprayed my entire body with citronella. Every inch. And then, as a mosquito sexually assaulted me – sticking its nasty proboscis INTO my jaw – I realized – FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING…
Most mornings, after the radio sounds – my mind remains muzzy. It is warm and comfortable, clinging to precious unconsciousness. Today… playing at approximately 6:45 a.m. on Jazz 91.1… today I discovered The Lost Fingers’ cover of Tom Sawyer. Yes THAT Tom Sawyer. The one by Rush. As a 1930’s style gypsy jazz tune. http:/www.thelostfingers.com/disco/…
Last night we went over to our fabulous neighbours’ place for dinner. Kaye holds the title for BEST COOK I KNOW. For the longest time my Mom held the title hands down, but Kaye is a beast when it comes to cooking. We had this appetizer that was 1/2 an avocado with crab salad inside…
I slept in this morning. All the way to 6:00 a.m. before bodily urges had me rising. Still warm and sleepy, I attempted to crawl back into my toasty bed, snuggled next to my husband but was foiled by Florence. No, I thought. No! You’re going back to sleep! You still have half an hour! …
The release of steam at the end of a day. This is what blogging is for. Things like my cat. Lola. Or as we affectionately call her – Lola ‘Bola Virus – who decided that she wanted to wear my rhinestone necklace this morning at 4:47 a.m. Our little cat burglar tried to abscond with…
Yes. I used to placate my mother when, in her 40s and 50s, she would say “Is it hot in here?” Our whole family would. My father, brother and I would say “PHEW!! Yes, MAN is it HOT! Steaming!!!” She was not amused, and she always said to me, “It’ll come back to haunt you,…
I thought the cold was done. Kaput. Finito. I was misinformed. I woke up this morning and I was – to quote Will Farrell – “a cotton-headed ninny muggins.” I was in freaking La La Land. Eyes, ears, balance? Blurry, plugged, OFF. And I’m not sure, but I might have had a seizure this…
Sometime today, I got it in my head that the perfect graphic for the blog would be a dung beetle pushing… yep, you guessed it… a ball of pooh. So I started looking for pictures of dung beetles and then it struck me – WAIT A SECOND! We HAVE pictures of a dung beetle pushing…
Children are plague carriers. Mine gave me her wretched cold. But on the plus side I just got to type ‘wretched,’ so that’s good. I think I have mucous behind my eyes. Colds don’t completely knock you out but they do limit your brain power and as I have shit to do, this is an…