Labour Day morning. Contentedly lying in bed. I look over and see David reading. He smiles. I yawn, asking him what time it is. He glances over at the clock. “It’s… seven… fifty…. nope. It’s Eight o’clock.” “Boo Yeah!” I’ve managed to sleep in. We just got back from a trip overseas and have been…
WARNING: Colourful language in this post. Fact: My internal thermostat is fucked. I’ve dealt with hot flashes since the age of 36. But the night sweats? The truly disgusting, sleep-annihilating, life-altering, make-you-feel-like-you-have-malaria… Wait. Maybe it’s not night sweats. Maybe it’s malaria. It’s January. In Canada. There are no mosquitos. Maybe it’s COVID… again. Cue rapid…
warning: BIG time bad words in this post. Aphasia nounapha·sia | ə-ˈfā-zh(ē-)ə medical : loss or impairment of the power to use or comprehend words etymology: mid 19th century: from Greek, from aphatos ‘speechless’ *** Rissa and I stand in the checkout line at a Craft/Antiques Barn. Neither crafts nor antiques will be purchased….
WARNING: SO MUCH FEMALE STUFF In the summer of 1997, David held my hand as I sat at the triage desk of the local hospital. He looked concerned. I looked like I was going to pass out. The nurse looked wiser than Nicodemus from the Secret of NIMH. “Are you a new couple?” she asked,…
This week (and it’s only Monday – it’s only MONDAY?!?), I find myself wondering what caused She-Hulk’s transformation from regular woman-about-town, to big green rage monster. ‘Cause I’ve had three instances today where I found myself fighting to maintain my equilibrium between rationality and absolutely losing my shit. This morning, I’m moving from the bathroom…
I clutch the handrail, lifting one foot in front of the other. David follows me, really close – my personal border collie – ensuring that I don’t fall. “I’m good,” I say. I’d give a sloshy thumbs-up, but my left hand is presently holding the other wall. My feet mostly feel the stair treads beneath…
As I’m writing, I know exactly the word I want to use. It means getting up, but in a sexy, Regency romance kind of way. Sort of like unbending, something akin to having a sexy lap. The word itself? Not a fucking clue. Any of you know what the word is? Wordhippo did not immediately…
As I’m writing at the kitchen table, I intermittently glance out the window – enjoying flashes of flora and fauna in our backyard. The Engleman’s Ivy lushly embraces the pergola, the grass is green, there are birds and squirrels, and… a… fox? As I lean to the side of my computer screen, desperate to catch…
Today, I popped a rib by NOT making the bed. I calmly moved towards the bed to begin making it, but then figured, Nah, I’ll do this AFTER I exercise. And then, I calmly walked away from the bed. No sudden movements, no being startled, no overly dramatic sneezing – I simply walked away. And then…
Is mole DNA similar to rabbit DNA? And by “mole” I mean a mole on your face or body, and by rabbit I mean literal fucking rabbits. If you have two moles on your face, do their melanocytes then multiply exponentially like the proverbial rabbit? Is my face now a Ponzi Scheme? Last year I…