We are all just part of the Matrix folks. We are all just cogs in a wheel… frickin’ useless, tech-reliant, cogs in the wheel of the Internet. Come the Apocalypse, we are totally fucked. We were completely cut off Sunday night. We lost all knowledge, all connection, all ability to interact with humanity. Our modem…
“Hey look at this!” says Rissa. She’s just received her “prize” pack for selling a shit-load of magazines subscriptions for her school fund raiser. They give the kids a bag chock full of items they must get in bulk from higher end dollar stores. They’re all pretty much craptastic, but it is, after all, a…
Is one of the by-products of peri-menopause bigger boobs? Because I’m pretty sure that my boobs are growing. Swear to God. I feel like I have pregnant boobs. I’m ALL boobs. I look in the mirror and they’re just… there… I mean really, there. Like KAPOW there!! I walk into the room and they…
“The treadmill is trying to kill me!” “Kill you?” David asks skeptically. “Well, it’s, at the very least, trying to Gaslight me.” “And it’s doing this, how??” “Because I can’t load Netflix.” David gives me the eyebrow equivalent to a face palm. “And this is driving you mad?” “Yes. Yes, it is driving me mad.”…
WARNING: THERE IS DISCUSSION OF FEMALE ISSUES IN THIS POST. Sam Brown, explodingdog.com My camel did not make it. It had been days since he’d died. I found myself trudging through the desert, my skin burning, sand in my throat… Hot wind blowing around me, almost through me. I could feel sand on my…
I am totally crushing on Emma Stone. She is perhaps my new favourite person in the world. Not only is she a great actor, articulate and funny, but she does this?!? She killed the battle, AND if that wasn’t amazing enough, her first song was Hook, by Blues Traveller – an obscure blast from the…
Nope. Wipe… How ’bout this one? Nope. Wipe… Wait, wait, wait… this one’ll be the one… NOPE. Scrub. Wiiiiiiiiiiiipe. Why do I even have these?!? Lipsticks. How many should a gal have? You know… in the drawer of your vanity, or bottom of your make up kit. 12? 22? 116? I have an entire drawer…
My adolescence was so much fun the first time around, I thought I’d give it another go. That’s me trying to pretend like I have any say in what’s happening now. It’s not so much a choice, as an involuntary action. I’ve had a week folks. Oh, have I had a week. A week that’s…
We don’t have a kitchen ‘work triangle’ per se. It’s more a kitchen ‘assembly line.’ Our kitchen sink is 21 feet away from our freezer. It goes like this: Sink, drawer unit, stove, dishwasher, fridge, old kitchen island, new butler’s pantry and then you get to the freezer in the closet of our foyer. Why…
It seems like such a good idea when I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I look up at the outline of where the closet had been. I see the damage of the torn-asunder drywall plugs – the drilled screw holes, the decimated drywall. Why had it been bothering me so much? Yes, there…