For the second time in my life I am catastrophically clumsy. I didn’t get the memo. The one where it tells you that when you hit peri-menopause you enter your second adolescence. I trip,slip, bump into things, drop dishes, stub my toes and fall up the stairs. Not down, but up. My dork factor is…
Last night at bedtime. “New career path Mummy! No longer will I be a chiropractor or massage therapist. I will now be… a NINJA. My catch phrase shall be “You will never see me coming!” From her position lying in the bed, Rissa launches herself up at me, pulling me flat against her chest, her…
Allow me to wax hyberbolic for a moment. I love being Canadian. It is the absolute best country in the galaxy! I LOVE it. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! I love living in Canada. The people, the wildlife, the breadth and scope of our land, the change in seasons… I am proud to be a Canadian…
I have been a redhead for more years now than I haven’t. There have been occasional comments on the colour now and again, but something about this newest shade is driving folks wild. Recently, I was in Toronto for a public speaking engagement. As I was walking to the venue, a very attractive, incredibly well…
“OH!!!” “What?” asks David. “OH MY GOD!!!“ “What?!? What is it?” David now sounds a bit panicked. “Mummy, you’re scaring him,” says Rissa. “IT’S A MIRACLE!!! IT’S A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!!!” I’m standing in Rissa’s doorway. My shock is palpable. I’ve never actually seen this – not while it was actually happening – not in my…
It hurts when I brush my teeth. My SUPER SPINATUS (Rotator Cuff) has betrayed me. I’m not brushing my teeth particularly violently or anything. I think it’s just those wee little movements at that particular angle. I start the day off wincing. And what’s really depressing is that it’s not from having had twisty-bouncy sex…
WARNING: This post is about sex I never thought there would come a day where I would have to stretch before having sex. Honest to God, it’s not like we’re particularly athletic about it. I’m not doing a handstand against the wall or anything. We’re not suspended from a chandelier. I’m just lying on my…
WARNING: Adult language in this post I never used to be this hairy. I mean sure, I had the pubes, I had the pits – I shaved – below the knee – because my mother had warned me against above the knee shaving as if it could end civilization as we know it. Taking my…
“If you had a fake laugh what would it be?” Rissa asks as we’re walking to her dance studio. (We have one car, David takes it to school, if David’s late at work, we have to figure transportation shit out. Rissa opted for the walking option instead of biking. This happened half way through our…
I get Detective Murtaugh now. I couldn’t before, but now that I’m 45, I completely understand him. Plus, I think he must have been some kind of super human. How could he possibly do all he did with Martin Riggs, a man a good 15 years his junior, and not DIE from it? …