|

Easy, Action…

“Hor-ORRR-ork!  Gaaaaaaag!  Pwaaaa!” “You sound like you’re doing “Cool” – the vomit version,” says Rissa. * I’m brushing my teeth.  Every morning, when I get to the brushing my tongue part, I can’t seem to get past my gag reflex. “Pwaaaaa!” I spit.    “We’d need some added percussion for it though.  It’d be like snap,…

| | |

And that’s why menopause makes you crazy…

It’s come to this: I am now answering Facebook quizzes in my own head. Without the computer.  And not the normal ones like: Which Disney Princess are you?  Which Shakespearean character would you be?What breed of cat are you? Nope, this mostly Pagan gal has this one pin-balling around her cranium: Which Bible character is…

|

How long have you been having sex with the octopus?

David asks. “Hmmmm?” “The octopus sex.  How long has it been going on?” “Cupping.  It was cupping.  There was no octopus involved.” “Are you sure?  Evidence suggests otherwise.” “It was cupping.” “Cupping…?” “Suction cupping.  At the massage appointment.” “She put suction cups on you.”  He is appalled by this explanation. “May I remind you of…