Nope. Wipe… How ’bout this one? Nope. Wipe… Wait, wait, wait… this one’ll be the one… NOPE. Scrub. Wiiiiiiiiiiiipe. Why do I even have these?!? Lipsticks. How many should a gal have? You know… in the drawer of your vanity, or bottom of your make up kit. 12? 22? 116? I have an entire drawer…
My adolescence was so much fun the first time around, I thought I’d give it another go. That’s me trying to pretend like I have any say in what’s happening now. It’s not so much a choice, as an involuntary action. I’ve had a week folks. Oh, have I had a week. A week that’s…
We don’t have a kitchen ‘work triangle’ per se. It’s more a kitchen ‘assembly line.’ Our kitchen sink is 21 feet away from our freezer. It goes like this: Sink, drawer unit, stove, dishwasher, fridge, old kitchen island, new butler’s pantry and then you get to the freezer in the closet of our foyer. Why…
“Quick! We have to distract them!” David says. “How?” Suddenly it comes to him. He lifts up his shirt, wets his finger, draws a cirle around his nipple, all the while singing Barnum’s Circus March. “Do-do-doodle-doodle-do-do-do-do….” He whispers, “It’s called ‘CLOWNING.’ Depending on the patterning around your nipple – it will act as a code.”…
It seems like such a good idea when I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I look up at the outline of where the closet had been. I see the damage of the torn-asunder drywall plugs – the drilled screw holes, the decimated drywall. Why had it been bothering me so much? Yes, there…
He’d suddenly gone all grumpy. We were installing the chrome cup pulls in the kitchen and by ‘we,’ I mean him – ’cause he was hogging all the tools. He had two drills, two screwdrivers and was hoarding all the bolts. I had a cardboard template of the new cup pull and a pencil. I…
Where does your 68 year old mother like to shop? My Mom’s a pretty typical grandmotherly/motherly type. She bakes cookies, knits sweaters, sends cheques for Rissa’s RESP. Rissa has a cute pet name for her. She calls her Mor Mor,which means ‘mother’s mother,’ in Danish. My Mom has a grey pixie cut and shops at…
I know… I know… I just ranted about this. However…. What I saw over the past weekend warranted an update. So… picture something similar to this, but with 6-10 year old girls wearing special-ordered versions of this inflatable costume and dancing to…. BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY I’ll give you a moment and let that sink…
Says Rissa. This morning, Rissa experiences our friend Leslie’s homemade jam for the first time. She has two pieces of toast – each sporting Leslie’s gourmet jam. Strawberry balsamic on one, peach bourbon vanilla bean on the other. She sits for a moment in front of her plate of toast. “I am about to have…
Toms and Kittens, Strays and Collared, the Curious and the Curiouser… Step right up!!! We welcome you to the Best, the Brightest the most BREATHTAKING of playgrounds! A veritable CAT CARNIVAL! Mainzer Cat Circus circa 1950s Never in your cat lives have you experienced such Magic, such Mayhem, such MAGNIFICENCE!!! Stare for hours at…