I’m Canadian. An Air Force brat, I split my formative years between the Maritimes and Prairies (PEI, Manitoba, Nova Scotia, back to Manitoba – with a brief anomaly in California in ’81 and ’82 – until I finished high school and then I found myself an Ontarian). I remember those winters in Nova Scotia and…
You wouldn’t think her head could do a 360 would you? Or she’s possessed. It’s an either/or I think. We were all lazing about during the Christmas holidays – comfy and cozy in the family room – in front of the fireplace, and Minuit – the most crotchety of our beasts – went cuckoo bananas….
Now I doubt my intelligence and smell like cat shit. Yes it’s kitty litter day. And every single time I forget that I should be doing this job in a HAZMAT suit so that I don’t reek of cat. I should have kitty litter clothes. I have painting clothes – the ones that I wear…
WARNING: There is an abundance of female information in this post There I sit in Canadian Tire, my ass on the lowest rack in the Home Decor Aisle. Fists in the air… “THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!!!” “Ma’am?” For a moment, I morph into a Mesopotamian Demon. Laser beams from my eyes – poor kid…
How did she do it? Vera Ellen, I mean. How could she even stand, let alone DANCE, in White Christmas? We watched it the other night, the girls and I. Yeah, we sang along. Yeah, we rolled our eyes at some of the nostalgic schtick. Yeah, we got teary-eyed when General Waverly came into the…
So this is how it goes is it? I now injure myself sitting. I came home the other night, and I ached, oh how I ached. I could barely walk. My hips, my knees, even my ankles refused give me support. Apparently they were going out dancing, maybe speed skating or snowboarding while I was…….
Period. Last week. Mon – Friday. Growling, irritable, drugged up, clutching the heated blanket. Then the weekend arrived, and I felt GREAT! Fantastic even. Randy. Giving David those looks – waggling of the eyebrows – half-smiles and suggestive telepathy. Couldn’t get enough of him. We’d finish one bout of naked wrestling before, barely giving him…
Last winter, to ward off cold air chest pain, David purchased me my very own Cold Avenger / Darth Vader mask. Well, it’s winter once again, and though Ontario’s November was pretty damned temperate, December has been colder than a witch’s tit the last little while. Not generally a problem for most stalwart Canadians,…
Our cats, who usually maintain relative order in our home, lose their minds when the Christmas decorations come out. They dance on counters, bask on top of tables… We routinely find the dining room table cloth all askew, salt and pepper shakers asses up, chairs knocked over. All three cats looking up and saying “It…
I have been taken in by British department store John Lewis. I didn’t even know that John Lewis existed before today, and now here I am tearing up – TEARING UP – at an animated commercial. Albeit an animated commercial that celebrates Christmas with woodland animals all to a lovely soundtrack by Lily Allen, but…