For instance… according to my daughter, these are the signs for “Uterus Falling Out.” Apparently last year, in Grade 7, Rissa and her friends figured it out so that they could torment the boys. I don’t know how accurate it is in ASL, but I’ll be signing it myself from now on. Above Rissa exhibits…
I should have known better than to post that I had an abundance of energy. Those petty cold gods sure do love their schadenfreude. Tuesday morning I awoke… no, strike that. Who am I kidding? I never really woke up during the day. Went back to bed for a couple of hours to see if…
Fall Back is my favourite time of year EVER. To have forgotten to set your clock back on Saturday night and then have the unexpected epiphany Sunday morning that you can sleep in the extra hour? And then there’s the following Monday! That day where your body wakes up feeling refreshed, recharged and ready to…
Apparently The Nightmare Before Christmas is much to old to garner immediate recognition. Oh God, I just Googled it – 19-freaking-93!!! That is 20 years ago! HOLY CRAP! No wonder I wasn’t recognized. Plus, I was missing some stitched-back-together scars when I went to work in the morning. It was a dark…
Netflix has made me healthier. Well, Netflix and the tablet whereby I can view Netflix, has made me healthier. I take my collapsible treadmill out of the closet in our study, pop on a TV show, hit the START button and go. Minimum 30 minutes a day of guaranteed walking and that’s on top of…
WARNING: THIS POST IS ABOUT SEX WITH YOUNG MEN There are sooooooo many things to enjoy about peri-menopause – it’s hard to pick a favourite. But pretty high on that list would be how my peri-menopausal ovaries take over my higher brain functions when in the presence of young men. My lady bits are apparently…
“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! Look at them! LOOK AT THEM!!!” “You’re a dog!” says Rissa. “No, I’m not!” says I. “You’re totally a dog. You’re all like… talking, talking, talking, conversing while walking… SQUIRREL!!!!“ “You can’t tell me that you weren’t entertained watching those two squirrels chase each other around and around that pine tree. And then when…
WARNING: There are inferred epithets in this post. “HOLY $*&! MOTHER – &@%!%# JESUS! “ After dinner, on the nights when we’re not over-programmed to the nth degree – David likes to change into his pj pants and a nice warm sweater. We’ll snuggle in on the family room sofa and he’ll either read or…
thump… thump… thump… I didn’t think they were that smart. Minuit, in particular, seems like she doesn’t have two synapses to rub together. Steve will frequently roll off the ottoman by accident and Lola – well Lola is the sneakiest of the bunch – but it’s not like she’s doing cat calculus in her spare…
There are the foods you should be eating… You know, iron-fortified foods, brown rice, lentils, dairy products, fish… all supposed to help with PMS and all, frankly, bullshit. We don’t want them, we don’t eat them. We find our own ways to get through the inconvenience of bleeding from our vaginas. My Top Ten Period…